What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
“I don’t need validation from others.”
He said.
“I just need validation from myself.”
He continued.
“What would have to happen
for you to validate
yourself?”
She asked.
“I would have to hit 10M
in annual revenue.”
He answered.
“Who would give you that money?”
She asked.
“Nobody would give me that money.
I would earn it!”
He answered
valiantly.
“Earn
from whom?”
She asked.
“The customers.”
He answered
“So you need validation
from your customers?”
She asked.
“Yes.”
He answered.
Too many times,
have I heard that talent
without hard work
is nothing.
The over-emphasis on hard work
can mask the fact
that talent is talent
precisely because
it’s not hard work.
Sometimes
we spend so much time
trying to get better at what is hard
at the expense of discovering how what comes easy,
our talent,
can be shaped
to provide significant value.
Business
is often compared
to a war.
There are
competitions.
Founders
feel hurt in the process.
It is important
to survive.
…
But business
is also different
from a war.
Because you may win a war
by crushing the competition.
But in business
even in the absence of competition
you only win
by winning with
the customers.
I once heard someone
90 years old
tell an audience
that she regretted not studying
her favorite foreign language
sooner.
When asked how sooner,
she replied
“30 years ago.”
When asked why then,
she replied
“When I was 60,
I told myself
that I don’t have much time left
so why bother
learning another language.
…
Little did I know,
that I had 30 more years in me.”
We sometimes say
“if I were them,
I wouldn’t have done that.”
The question is not merely
whether we would have behaved
differently.
The question is
had we the same
emotions,
intentions,
needs,
and values
whether we would have behaved
differently.
Development
has a grain
as do
a piece
of wood.
May we take responsibility
for supporting someone
in alignment with their developmental grain
instead of staying stuck blaming them
for our own lack of insight
into their developmental grain.
Having
ample time
is not the same as having
abundant time.
Having
ample resources
is not the same as having
abundant resources.
Having ample opportunities
is not the same as having
abundant opportunities.
If abundance
means way more
than enough:
a way to connote
quantity.
Amplity
means comfort
in enoughness:
a way to connote
quality.
There is no such thing
as “over-”
thinking.
There is merely
“thinking”
that either we
or others
judge
as “too much.”
Instead of judging ourselves or others,
may we realize empathy
with our own thought process
so we can learn
why
our mind is behaving the way it is,
then support them
to address its concerns
to relieve it
of its tension.
We say
that when we love someone
we want
what’s best for them.
What we don’t say,
but mean,
is that we may even want to make sure
they get the best.
So much so
that we may personally feel responsible
for giving them
the best.
Even if it means making ourselves vulnerable
to feeling ashamed,
when we inevitably realize
that we are unable
to fulfill our responsibility.
Not because we did not
or could not give
enough,
but because our heart knows no limits
on how much
to give them.
When we delegate
we think
we are delegating
our tasks.
But we are also delegating
our values.
What we consider important.
How we make decisions.
How we prioritize.
Delegating mere tasks
without values
may end with you blurting out
the good ol’ saying:
“If you want something done right,
do it
yourself.”
