If your goal
is to lift weights,
you can achieve that goal
by lifting weights.
But for your muscles to develop
you must put the weights down
and help your muscles
recover.
Without recovery
you may achieve,
achieve,
and achieve
with minimal development
while promoting fatigue
and injury.
What if
our psychology
and our relationships
were like muscles?
One way
we can realize empathy
with what we previously could not
is to search
for a metaphor.
If “I would not do
what they did
if I were in their situation,”
signals
an absence
of a metaphor.
Then “In what situation
would I do
what they did?”
signals
a search
for a metaphor.
“They’re going to be quick
to blame me.”
said the founder,
worrying
of the employees’ backlash.
“How would it be different,
if you were quicker?”
I asked.
“What do you mean?”
he asked.
“How would it be different,
if you were even quicker
than them?”
I asked again,
with emphasis.
“Quicker?”
he asked.
“…”
I sat there,
silent.
“You mean if I were to blame myself
before they did?”
“…”
I waited.
Silence ensued.
“… You’re talking about
taking responsibility.”
The reply came back,
eventually.
When we lose
our startup.
Many stories
arise.
One
is that we
have failed.
At what exactly?
Just because
that company
was not the company
with which you achieved
what you wanted to achieve,
it doesn’t mean
there will be no other company
with which
to do so.
The loss of your startup
does not equal
the loss
of your life’s work.
In fact,
it may equal
the gain
of the knowledge required
to do your life’s work.
The question may be
what
your life’s work
is
and are you willing
to continue
it.
