Gratitude
is an emotion.
Indebtedness
is a judgment one makes
on top of gratitude
to inject our being
with a noble burden.
One that whispers
“You must pay this back.
If you don’t,
you’re not good enough.”
A burden
that sometimes leads us
to hyper-empathize
with the person
to whom
we feel indebted.
Jim Carey once said,
he acts,
because he’s broken.
For those who judge
“brokenness”
as “bad”
may feel triggered
by that comment.
But what I learned from art,
is that if “broken” implies
1) separated in parts
or 2) producing results
that defy our expectations,
then both
are requirements
for innovation.
Because parts
must be separated
before they can be
recomposed
into a new whole.
And the kind of whole
we seek in innovation
is the kind
that defies our expectations
enough to move us
in often surprising ways.
If being broken
means that I can not only
understand and appreciate,
but also artfully express
the depth and nuance
of the human experience
in ways I could not
otherwise have,
such that I impact the world
in positive ways,
as has Jim Carey,
then broken,
I am.
One of the most common block to insight
is cynicism.
To realize empathy with cynicism
it can be useful to model it
as doubt + judgment.
This implies that
once we strip our cynicism of judgment,
we can more clearly confront our doubt.
Then as we develop the requisite skill and will
to zoom into our doubt,
it can lead to the discovery
of our worry or concern,
ultimately fear,
over a future we do not wish to see happen.
When we can clearly see and hear
this undesired future
we can also increase the probability
of realizing empathy,
which ultimately helps us create choices,
the kind that gives us a feeling of possibility
beyond the horizon of cynicism,
which is a key
to designing toward a future
we do wish to see happen,
instead of staying stuck
unconsciously envisioning a future
we do not wish to see happen.
I’ve coached founders
who aspire to make millions of dollars.
I’ve also coached founders
who aspire to help the less fortunate.
Some may easily judge one to be better than the other.
Perhaps.
What I find interesting is that both struggled
with the same things.
That is until they learned to let go
of the fixed image
of who they thought they should be.
Whether that was
someone who has millions of dollars or
someone who helps the less fortunate,
it made little difference.
