Easy
may not be a choice
that can be learned.
But you can be
at ease.
Category: Short Form
3 Layers
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with our thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of others,
be it animate or inanimate.
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of our larger system,
be it our family,
society,
nation,
or ecosystem.
The Rhythm Section
When I first learned to play
the guitar,
I only learned how to play
so that I can sound
good.
Years later,
I learned from Victor Wooten,
that there is a different kind of learning,
which is to learn how to play
so that other people
can sound
good.
The art
of support.
Burden
The burden of responsibility
is only heavy
while we delay
our response.
Disagreements
When disagreeing
it may be important to recognize
that we need not take responsibility
for someone else’s choice.
If the disagreement is because we feel like well have to take responsibility
for someone elses choice,
then make that clear,
I choose to support you on your decision
provided you make clear that you will take responsibility
for the consequences.
Beyond Responsibility
“I want to achieve
peace in my family.”
“I want my team members
to be happy.”
“I want …”
While these can be goals,
aspirations,
or expectations,
they cannot be
our responsibility.
Not because we don’t care
or because we have no influence,
but because
responsibility
does not equal
outcome.
What is within our responsibility
is to do our best.
Sometimes our best
does not yield
an outcome
we find satisfying.
Our responsibility lies
is what response we choose
in relation to the outcome
we do not find satisfying.
Semantics
Oftentimes
all we disagree on
is the definition
of a word.
If we are willing to use
the other persons definition
we may agree
if we are unwilling
then we disagree.
The question then beceoms
what are we afraid would happen
if we let the other person
use their definition?
Validation
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
Respecting vs Expecting – Part 2
If to respect,
is to see
anew,
expect is to see
as formerly seen.
When we respect someone,
we don’t blame them
for not doing what we wanted them to do
we remind them
that they did not do what they know they can do.
Irony
I lack empathy.
Sometimes.
We all lack empathy.
Sometimes.
Let those
who’s never lacked empathy,
judge others
for lacking empathy.
Let those
who’s never seen others lack empathy,
judge themselves
for lacking empathy.