What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
When I first learned to play
the guitar,
I only learned how to play
so that I can sound
good.
Years later,
I learned from Victor Wooten,
that there is a different kind of learning,
which is to learn how to play
so that other people
can sound
good.
The art
of support.
Sometimes
asking ourselves
am I doing enough
may mean
that we dont have enough trust
in the people around us
to do their share.
Some results need to be achived
and if we are not the one who can achieve those results
but they can only be achieved through others
or we’d rather have others achieve those results
So the question isn’t am I doing enough
the question is
who can I entrust to do something
that I am not doing
or I am not good at doing
or I do not want to do.
Compassion without realization of empathy
can easily lead
to manipulation.
Fear
can inspire behaviors
either too fast
or too slow.
Scarcity
Is not
bad.
It is scarcity
that empower us to profess our love
before someone’s
passing.
When we know
we have little time
we do things
we would never do
when time
is abundant.
I want to learn the best practice
he said
Do you?
I asked
When we striggle
it’s not necessary a sign that we lack competence
it’s sometimes because we care so much
that we expect more than what we can offer
When we realize empathy
what we see
changes.
When what we see
changes
what we focus on
can also change.
When what we focus on
changes
what we value
can also change.
When what we value
changes
what we decide
can also change.
When what we decide
changes
what we do
can also change.
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
“I overreacted today.”
said the CEO.
I waited.
“They think
I’m a bad leader.” he continued.
I waited.
“They think
I’m toxic.” he continued.
“I don’t know
why I cannot control this.”
he lamented.
“How could others support you
so that you won’t overreact?”
I asked
finally.
“I don’t know.”
he replied.
“What do you not
want?”
I asked again.
“I want them
to stop saying why my ideas
are bad.”
he said.
“Do you want them
to say your ideas
are good?”
I asked.
“No,
of course not.”
he said.
“What do you want?”
I asked again.
“I…
I just want them
to listen.”
he said,
finally.
