If your goal
is to lift weights,
you can achieve that goal
by lifting weights.
But for your muscles to develop
you must put the weights down
and help your muscles
recover.
Without recovery
you may achieve,
achieve,
and achieve
with minimal development
while promoting fatigue
and injury.
What if
our psychology
and our relationships
were like muscles?
“Why didn’t you
tell me?”
I asked.
“I didn’t want
to be a burden.”
she responded.
…
“But what if
you had died?”
was the question
I never asked.
“Have you ever thought
about the guilt
that I would have had
to live with?”
was the resentment
I never expressed.
“In your desire
to be a good mother
you could have made me
a bad son.”
was the blow
I never threw.
…
“You’re not my mother
because you’re not
a burden.”
was the acknowledgment
I never made.
“You’re my mother
because you are.”
was the tear
I never shed.
“I love you.”
was the honesty
I never expressed.
One way
we can realize empathy
with what we previously could not
is to search
for a metaphor.
If “I would not do
what they did
if I were in their situation,”
signals
an absence
of a metaphor.
Then “In what situation
would I do
what they did?”
signals
a search
for a metaphor.
A tight corner
is a place, where we feel
as if we have
no choice.
To tell someone
backed into a corner
to not do something,
is to attempt
to further decrease
their choice.
Until we learn
to receive…
No.
Until we learn
to let others
give
to us…
No.
Until we learn
to realize empathy with ourselves
in a way
that gives us the courage
to admit
that we need others
to give to us,…
Until then,
we can get stuck
lending
despite intending
to give.
