What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
We tend to expect others
to know what they are doing “wrong” to you
then fix it
by themselves.
Sometimes
this expectation
is fulfilled.
Many times,
what you consider “wrong”
is not
from their perspective
especially not
to the same degree.
And even if it is
to fix it by themselves
not only leaves them isolated,
naturally,
but also to do something that doesnt
come naturally.
Be willing to support them
to change the context
“What if he doesn’t accept
my apology?” asked the CEO.
“His response
is his responsibility.
The question I’m asking
is what responsibility
are you willing to take?” I remarked.
“My responsibility?” he asked.
“Yes,
whether your apology
is accepted or not,
which is within his ability
to respond,
thus his response-ability
and his choice,
are you willing to choose apology
simply because
it is within your response-ability?” I replied.
“…
I am.” he replied.
“Why?” I probed.
“It’s funny.
I don’t know why,
but just thinking about it
makes me feel healed.” he reflected.
Vision
is what you’re looking at
without needing
to reaching it.
Goal
is something
you reach.
You can turn your vision
into a goal,
but you can also focus
on a vision
without making it
a goal,
because focus
gives us direction
and that may be
enough.
When stones enter the tumbler
what’s easy to observe is how smooth
they become
When used as metaphor for people
it may seem like this makes people different
What it actually does is it broadesn our understanding
of somethat
and we
The sharp edges of others no longer feel so sharp,
beucase we know what they mean not merely wahat they say
This isn’t to say that one should tolerate
it merely means beyond tolerance, respect is also valuable.
When we use the word
lead
let us be clear
what it is
we are leading.
If we are leading
people.
Then let us be explicit
that what we mean by
lead
Is leading
people.
Not money.
Not decisions.
Not strategies.
People.
Yes,
we need
money
decisions
strategies
to lead
people.
But those are the means
not the end.
May we remebmer that.
I want you
to be happy.
I want you
to be happy.
Don’t you know
that I do?
Why don’t you know
that I do?
What must I do
so you’ll know?
Why must you
continue
to hurt me?
Getting what we want
is not always
what we want.
What we want
is sometimes
to feel surprised.
And rarely will we feel surprise
by fixing
what we don’t want.
There are times
when we judge others
as wanting us
to sacrifice for them.
And yet,
when we ask
we may realize
that what they actually want
is what is best
for us.
Oftentimes
all we disagree on
is the definition
of a word.
If we are willing to use
the other persons definition
we may agree
if we are unwilling
then we disagree.
The question then beceoms
what are we afraid would happen
if we let the other person
use their definition?
“Your intention doesn’t matter!”
shouted
the CTO.
“Yes, it does!”
shouted back
the CEO.
“What matters
is the impact!”
shouted back
the CTO.
“Stop.”
I interrupted.
“What
is preventing them both
from mattering?”
I asked.