Two Birds with One Stone

Sometimes
we complain that our advice falls
on deaf ears.

If so
it may be worth discerning
the kind of problem
to which we’re giving
advice.

One type of problem
is a dilemma.

A dilemma arises
when we want to catch two birds
with one stone.

If our advice to someone with a dilemma
is to kill
just one bird.

The likelihood
of that advice falling on deaf ears
is high.

Same Team

When someone
is striving toward a goal,
dissuading them from the goal
can be the very definition
of being
unsupportive.

We can rationalize why
we are right
to dissuade them.

We may even argue
that it’s for their own
good.

What doesn‘t change—
until their goal changes—
is that we are perceived
as unsupportive
to them,
and thus perceived
to not be
on the same
team.

The Feeling of Support

While we may think
that we’re providing autonomy
for the employees’ benefit,
our employees
can actually feel
left alone
without support.

While we may think
that we’re expressing our concern
for the company’s benefit
our employers
can actually feel
uncared for
without support.

Support
is an event.

Just
as the confidence of an engineer
does not guarantee
whether the structure they built
is supportive,
our intention to support
does not guarantee
that support
happens.

I Envision

I
envision a world,
where each and every one of us,
from the moment we’re born
until the day we die
can feel certain
there’s at least one person
we can reach out to
at any given moment
who can and will support us
in a way
that actually makes us feel
supported.

To be Human

The Chinese character
for a human being (人)
are two strokes
supporting
one another.

What if
it is difficult
to be human
without support?

What if
our blaming of others
for behaving less than human
only isolates them
further,
making it even harder
for them
to be human?

What if…?

Clever Remarks

When people say
“I feel uncertain.”

The temptation
is to say something clever,
like
“There was never a time
that was certain.”

As true
as that may be,
that can shut down
a valuable opportunity
for innovation,
where we can support their reflection
on what negative outcome
feels certain.