What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.
Sometimes,
we discover in hindsight,
that we have wasted our energy
on a distraction.
When this happens,
it may be easy to blame ourselves
for not having had
foresight.
But without a clear direction,
what counts as distraction
and what does not
may only become obvious
in hindsight.
To decide with foresight
may we gain clarity of direction
first
to helps us discern
what counts as distraction
and what does not.
May we choose
to take responsibility
instead of blaming ourselves.
Responsibility
is response + ability.
It is our ability
to respond.
It points to our potential
for autonomous action.
It is distinct
from blaming ourselves
or anyone else
for being
at fault.
Unless you believe
your greatest potential for action
lies in blaming
yourself
or others.
p.s: Much gratitude to Margaret Rose for the email exchange that inspired me to write this post.
Sometimes
a vicious cycle
starts,
unintended,
when we take responsibility
for others’ happiness.
Sometimes
a virtuous cycle
starts,
ironically,
when we take responsibility
for our own happiness.
Thank you.
Please.
I’m sorry.
Three
magic words.
…
If I may add
one more,
it would be…
“If something goes wrong,
I’ll take responsibility for it.”
“The weight
of responsibility
is so heavy.”
remarked the Founder.
“No.”
I responded.
“The weight
of unshared responsibility
is heavy.”
I continued.
“The weight
will be the same
no matter what.
The choice you have
is with whom
you’ll share it
and how.
The choice is yours
and yours
only.”
I remarked.
May we ask ourselves
where
our responsibility
ends.
Where
the limits
of our ability to respond
lies.
Because our responsibility ends,
where our ability ends.
To assume otherwise,
can be an easy way
to set us up
for frustration
and resentment.
When I rescue,
I
take responsibility
for carrying out the actions
that increase the chance
of someone’s survival.
When I support,
I help someone
learn
the choice to take responsibility
for carrying out the actions
that increase the chance
of their own survival.
If responsibility
is response + ability —
as in our ability to respond
to a given situation —
then
it is only human
that when we experience too much tension,
our responsibility
gets hampered,
the range of our responsibility
gets diminished.
Others
may wish to hold us accountable
or our own sense of duty and obligation
may haunt us,
but neither
helps us recover
our hampered
responsibility
or restore
our range
of responsibility.
To take responsibility
back,
our tension
has to be released.
There are times
when it seems so clear
that the fault
is ours.
I raised my child poorly.
I lead my company to bankruptcy.
I failed to support my spouse.
This often happens
when there are two things
equally clear
if you’re willing
to see them.
First,
is that you’re someone
who is willing
to take
responsibility.
Second,
is that you have
emotional needs.
Perhaps the need
to be forgiven.
Upon seeing these two things
clearly,
may you learn the choice
to take responsibility
for fulfilling
your own emotional needs
as well as worrying
about the emotional needs
of others.