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Two Stones
When stones enter the tumbler
what’s easy to observe is how smooth
they become
When used as metaphor for people
it may seem like this makes people different
What it actually does is it broadesn our understanding
of somethat
and we
The sharp edges of others no longer feel so sharp,
beucase we know what they mean not merely wahat they say
This isn’t to say that one should tolerate
it merely means beyond tolerance, respect is also valuable.
Being vs Having
Sometimes
we speak
as if we are
others.
“I am sad”
vs
“I am feeling sadness”
“I am a CEO”
vs
“I play the role of a CEO”
“I am fit”
vs
“I have a fit body”
Perhaps we speak this way
out of habit.
Perhaps we speak this way
when we hyper-empathize.
No matter the reason,
it’s worth creating
distinctions
and boundaries with them,
so we can empathize.
Validating Others
It can be hard
to validate others
when it seems as though
validating them
means
invalidating
ourselves.
It can be crucial
to ask yourself
whether it is true
that validating others
means
invalidating ourselves,
or
that we simply cannot see
the situation
in such a way
that validatings others
need not mean
invalidating
ourselves.
Care
When we striggle
it’s not necessary a sign that we lack competence
it’s sometimes because we care so much
that we expect more than what we can offer
Expectations
“I hate the fact
that the only way I can feel better
in my co-founder relationship
is to think of my co-founder
as an employee.”
said the founder.
“What do you mean?”
I asked.
“I have to lower my expectations.”
the founder answered.
“Lower how?”
I asked
“That he may not be able to support me
the way I want him
to support me.”
It’s OK
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I raised enough
money.” he said.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I hired enough
experts.” he continued.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I achieved enough
annual revenue.” he let out a sigh.
“I have no more excuses.
All this time,
I have been lying to myself.”
he remarked.
“It’s OK.
We all lie to ourselves
from time
to time.
Need for Validation and Fear of Not receiving validation
There is a world of difference
between having a need for validation
and judging
that we are not worthy
of validation
Power of Scarcity
Scarcity
Is not
bad.
It is scarcity
that empower us to profess our love
before someone’s
passing.
When we know
we have little time
we do things
we would never do
when time
is abundant.
Best Practice
I want to learn the best practice
he said
Do you?
I asked
Too Fast or Too Slow
Fear
can inspire behaviors
either too fast
or too slow.