Author: Seung Chan Lim

“My wife
is driving me crazy.”
said the Founder.

“Why?”
I asked.

“She asks me questions.
I give her the answer
and she says she doesn’t want
my answer.”

“Have you ever sent an email
in the middle of the night
to one of your executive team members
not expecting an immediate reply
but because you want to stay on the same page
and if you didn’t tell him now
you may forget?”
I asked

“Sure.”
answered the founder.

Has anyone complained that you’re sending emails late at night
because they thought they had to respond to your email right away?

“Sure. So I told them I don’t want them to answer right away.”
answered the founder.

“What if your wife
is doing the same?”
I asked.

That she’s just sharing because
it matters to her that she shares this
because there may be a time later when this info
not too important now
could matter
and she doesn’t want to have to remember to go all the way back
and share all the background before talking about something she wants to talk about
it’s just a much more efficient use of energy
to maintain updated shared context.

There is strength together
and strength against
when you communicate in a way
that provokes defense in the other
despite your best intentions
that will be strength against
which backfires
when you use strength together
to inspire solidarity
that does something radically different

We tend to think
we have to show our strength
to lead

Sometimes

What’s more clear
is that the more we show our strength
the less other people imagine
that we’re human.

That we can be vulnerable

And the less we seem human
less they see us as one of them.

May we not confuse
having a vision
to maintain directionality
and having a vision
to head toward
happiness.

It is possible
that realizing a vision
will not make us
happy.

It is possible
we can be happy
without realizing
any vision.

When we hyperfocus on something
anxiety-inducing
the weight of it makes it difficult
for us to do anything else

in these cases,
it’s important to take the long-term
what arey ou ultimately trying to do
by making progress on the subject of rumination

you may realize this is not as important
in which case the weight lessen
and you make room to do others things
more important

not that you won’t do it,
but you’ll do it with greater ease.

As parents
can sacrifice themselves
in hopes to provide
a better home for their children,
a Founder
can sacrifice themselves
in hopes to provide
a better workplace for their employees.

While seemingly virtuous
sacrifice
can also be
a breeding ground
for resentment.

There are situations
when we have no choice
but to sacrifice,
but in many cases
there are ways
to achieve win-win
with children
or employees
by sharing the burden
with them.

The challenge
lies in our willingness
to be vulnerably honest
enough
to be able to ask
for their support.

When tension amounts
it introduces stiffness.
aches,
and knots,
which impacts
our mobility.

It isn’t
that we are merely unwilling
to change our position,
but that changing positions
is hard
due to stiffness,
aches,
and knots.

Help us relieve our tension
and we will naturally change
positions.