What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Just as
taking responsibility
is not the same
as accepting
blame.
Taking responsibility
is not the same
as tolerating
hate.
When we have done something
we regret
we may take responsibility
for our past
and future actions.
While simultaneously inviting others
to take responsibility
for their own hate
of our mistakes.
Often times
we say we want something
when really
we want to prevent
something else.
Something
we do not want.
Some say
they want
growth,
but really
they do not want
to be small.
Some say
they want
wealth,
but really
they do not want
to be poor.
Some say
they want success,
but really
they do not want
to fail.
Playing
not to
lose
instead of playing
to win.
Move on,
they say.
Move with,
we experience.
Sometimes
we put it down.
We may even put them
in storage for a while.
But eventually
we take it out
pick it back up
and move with it.
And as we do
there may come a moment
when we look at it
with new eyes.
As if to discover
old photographs.
Photographs
we now cherish.
Not for the content
of the past.
But for its meaning
in the present.
At each transition,
we may crave the answer
to 3 questions.
Where do I want
to go?
Who do I want
to be
or become
in that journey?
What makes the where
and the who
worth the struggle
for me,
personally?
Sometimes
we see men
calling women
“emotional,”
when it may be more accurate
to call them
emotionally aware
or emotionally
open.
Sometimes
we see women
accuse men
of “suffering less,”
when it may be more accurate
to accuse them
of numbing themselves
or pretending
to be fine.
Sometimes
we complain that our advice falls
on deaf ears.
If so
it may be worth discerning
the kind of problem
to which we’re giving
advice.
One type of problem
is a dilemma.
A dilemma arises
when we want to catch two birds
with one stone.
If our advice to someone with a dilemma
is to kill
just one bird.
The likelihood
of that advice falling on deaf ears
is high.
The decision
can only be made
by the decision
maker.
No matter how much we dislike
the decision made,
the responsibility of decision making
lies solely
with the decision
maker.
In much the same way,
the decision we make
in response to other’s decisions
is our responsibility.
Sometimes
telling someone to calm down
is like telling someone who has to pee
to hold it in.
Other times
telling someone to calm down
is like telling someone who is already peeing
to hold it in.
Not being ill
does not always equal
being healthy.
Having abundance
does not always equal
having wholeness.
Not doing wrong
does not always equal
doing good.
Many partnerships
be it co-founders,
spouses,
or others,
end
in not so amicable terms
due a deterioration
of trust
and respect.
Before that happens,
it’s worth asking ourselves
do we even trust
and respect each other
now?
By trust,
I don’t mean considering their competence
reliable.
I mean do we trust
that they’ll be by our side
to support us
when we
are at our worst?
By respect,
I don’t mean
appreciating their competence.
I mean can we see value in them
over
and over
and over again,
at will.
So much so
that we can see this
even when they’re at
their worst.
Enough to remind them
of their own self-worth
that they themselves
have forgotten.