Apology as Load Sharing

When someone gives us
an apology
we need to receive,
the load of a burden we’ve been carrying
becomes shared
with the person
who gave
the apology.

When someone accepts
our apology
we need accepted,
the load of a burden we’ve been carrying
becomes​ shared
with the person
who accepted
the apology.

Burden

“Why didn’t you
tell me?”
I asked.

“I didn’t want
to be a burden.”
she responded.

“But what if
you had died?”
was the question
I never asked.

“Have you ever thought
about the guilt
that I would have had
to live with?”
was the resentment
I never expressed.

“In your desire
to be a good mother
you could have made me
a bad son.”
was the blow
I never threw.

“You’re not my mother
because you’re not
a burden.”
was the acknowledgment
I never made.

“You’re my mother
because you are.”
was the tear
I never shed.

“I love you.”
was the honesty
I never expressed.

Gratitude vs Indebtedness

Gratitude
is an emotion.

Indebtedness
is a judgment one makes
on top of gratitude
to inject our being
with a noble burden.

One that whispers
“You must pay this back.
If you don’t,
you’re not good enough.”

A burden
that sometimes leads us
to hyper-empathize
with the person
to whom
we feel indebted.

Just the Way You Are

Despite grieving
their lost youth.

Despite feeling
unworthy
in front of their employees.

Despite lacking
a mere one good night’s sleep.

There are those who are willing
to light themselves up
again
and again
and again
in the crucible
of responsibility.

Customer complaints,
Employee demands,
Investor rejections.

All that is said
may well be right.

And yet
the weight,
the burden,
the load,
is one
and the same.

It is a haze
that last moment of breath.

If a mere 10 minutes
may we put it all down
to let out a big
sigh.

Despite the tightening of our chest.

Despite the sight
of our inflated belly
that we may despise

May we feel that sense
of fulfillment
arise from within.

You’re a miracle
for having survived til now.

You’ve done well
for having stayed alive
breathing.

I’m proud of you
just the way
you are.