Fill out my online form.
Naming
If psychologists
can name
our experience
so can anybody.
If so,
may we name it
in such a way
that we feel more curious
about it
as if to take interest
in a pet
or a friend.
Someone
we are more likely
to spend the time and energy
required
to learn to understand
and appreciate.
Lowering Expectation vs Discovering Value
They say
the key to happiness
is lowering
expectations.
Choosing to let go
of what we wish
to see.
Perhaps
sometimes.
But at others times
we can also experience happiness
by discovering
or creating value
through respecting.
By learning the choice
to see what is already there
in a new way.
from what we took for granted,
what we once assumed
too mundane
or worthless
When
There are things
we consider
unimportant
that becomes important
when the context changes.
For example
when I have a deadline,
I don’t care what I eat.
I may simply eat some ramen noodles
and instead spend the time travelling back-and-forth to a restaurant
on doing the work.
But if I have already made the effort to get to a restaurant,
the quality of the food
becomes important.
So it’s inaccurate to judge someone as
not caring about the quality of food,
because they do care
when the context is a certain way.
Rumination
When we hyperfocus on something
anxiety-inducing
the weight of it makes it difficult
for us to do anything else
in these cases,
it’s important to take the long-term
what arey ou ultimately trying to do
by making progress on the subject of rumination
you may realize this is not as important
in which case the weight lessen
and you make room to do others things
more important
not that you won’t do it,
but you’ll do it with greater ease.
Antidote to Uncertainty
Confronted
with a table saw
whirring its blade,
what one may realize
is that to navigate
uncertainty
need not require
certainty
but may be
clarity.
uncertainty -> stall -> hesitation – > stuck -> imobile
There is no certainty
that we may not get injured
by the table saw,
and yet we proceed
so long as we can see
clearly.
The Cult of Gratitude
Gratitude
has somehow became
a panacea.
“Be grateful.”
some say.
“Be honest.”
I say in response.
If you don’t feel gratitude,
you don’t feel gratitude.
What you feel
is what you feel.
Irony
I lack empathy.
Sometimes.
We all lack empathy.
Sometimes.
Let those
who’s never lacked empathy,
judge others
for lacking empathy.
Let those
who’s never seen others lack empathy,
judge themselves
for lacking empathy.
Complaining
It’s ok
to complain.
In fact,
it can be healthy.
Except,
complain to someone
with skills.
The skills to summarize your complaint
far more succinctly
than you could
alone.
The skills to organize your complaint
far more clearly
than you could
alone.
The skills to guide your complaint
toward a resolution
you couldn’t reach
alone.
May we neither waste our complaint
on people who lack
such skills.
Nor leave such people frustrated
for lacking
such skills.
Playing Your Game
Stop playing to grow.
That’s your investors’ game.
Stop playing to survive.
That’s playing not to lose.
Start playing to win.
And play your own game.
Lacking Empathy is Normal
100% of the CEOs
who bragged to me
about their exceptional empathy
were proven wrong
when I asked
their direct reports
and their family members.
Not because they lacked empathy
absolutely,
but because we all lack empathy
sometimes.
Except,
that sometime
may be a critical moment for some
enough for them to remember
that we were not there
when they needed us
to be there for them
the most.