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Method vs Outcome
When people seek advice,
they’re often seeking
a method.
And yet,
when we give advice,
we often offer
an outcome.
“Have courage.”
“Forgive him.”
“Adopt
a growth mindset.”
…
Outcomes
that emerge
from a process.
So what people need
is to go through a process,
yet what they ask for
Is a method,
and what they usually get
is an outcome.
Focus & Burden
What we focus on
is sometimes a result
of a burden
we’re carrying.
That focus can be released
when others release us
from the burden.
I was focused on making the website perfect to make sure I’m supporting connie to the best of my ability,
then she told me I don’t have to work on the website anymore because it was enough and it will never be perfect enough to answer all the questions that we cannot possibly anticipate getting, then I felt a relief from my shoulder, it was then an only then that I realized it was a burden I was carrying. The burden that I must make the website perfect or else I’m not doing my job or my responsibility that I’m not being enough.
Emotions are not Mutually Exclusive
Many of us
do not feel supported.
Yet
we rationalize
that we should be grateful
for whatever we have.
If such rationalization
leads to self judgment,
shame,
and isolation.
May we realize
that gratitude
is not mutually exclusive
with not feeling supported.
The Chinese character for human
are two strokes
in support of one another.
Human beings need
and deserve support,
no matter their circumstance.
Top-Of-Mind
There’s often a task
at the top
of our mind.
A task
often related
to something with which
we hyper-empathize.
Thus,
intimately related
to our sense
of self-worth.
Until that task
makes sufficient
progress,
such that our need
for safety,
stability,
or security
is fulfilled,
our mind
can get constantly distracted,
reducing
our productivity
and focus.
May we become aware
of what that is
and respond
accordingly.
Presence
I used to think
we cannot be present
with the future
or the present.
But I learned
from woodworking
is that when a table saw
is whirring in front of you,
you have no choice,
but to be present.
The table saw
was
at that moment
undoubtedly the most important thing
to pay attention.
To be present with something
may be bring it to the present
by writing those thoughts down
Grace
We often thank luck,
when it may be more than that:
grace.
Validating Others
It can be hard
to validate others
when it seems as though
validating them
means
invalidating
ourselves.
It can be crucial
to ask yourself
whether it is true
that validating others
means
invalidating ourselves,
or
that we simply cannot see
the situation
in such a way
that validatings others
need not mean
invalidating
ourselves.
Method vs Context
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method
Vision vs Happiness
May we not confuse
having a vision
to maintain directionality
and having a vision
to head toward
happiness.
It is possible
that realizing a vision
will not make us
happy.
It is possible
we can be happy
without realizing
any vision.
Antidote to Uncertainty
Confronted
with a table saw
whirring its blade,
what one may realize
is that to navigate
uncertainty
need not require
certainty
but may be
clarity.
uncertainty -> stall -> hesitation – > stuck -> imobile
There is no certainty
that we may not get injured
by the table saw,
and yet we proceed
so long as we can see
clearly.