Realizing Empathy | Blog

Often times
we merely need
to suspend disbelief
and imagine.

And yet
we sometimes assume
we have to believe
what we cannot yet
believe,
which is much harder.

We cannot know
everything.

Not knowing
is not the same
as being less than

Those who shame us
for not knowing
are not our teachers

Admit not knowing
learn
grow
and mature.

“Can you coach
one of our team members?”
asked the CEO.

“Only
if you’re willing to accept
the consequences.”
I responded.

“Consequences?”
he asked.

“That they may become
so empowered
that they finally work up
the courage
required to leave
your company.”
I answered.

Why
do you look
like you have no anxiety
or worry?

asked the founder.

I have anxiety
and worry,
its just that
I can share every single one of them
with my wife

Without her
I’d be nothing.

“My wife
is driving me crazy.”
said the Founder.

“Why?”
I asked.

“She asks me questions.
I give her the answer
and she says she doesn’t want
my answer.”

“Have you ever sent an email
in the middle of the night
to one of your executive team members
not expecting an immediate reply
but because you want to stay on the same page
and if you didn’t tell him now
you may forget?”
I asked

“Sure.”
answered the founder.

Has anyone complained that you’re sending emails late at night
because they thought they had to respond to your email right away?

“Sure. So I told them I don’t want them to answer right away.”
answered the founder.

“What if your wife
is doing the same?”
I asked.

That she’s just sharing because
it matters to her that she shares this
because there may be a time later when this info
not too important now
could matter
and she doesn’t want to have to remember to go all the way back
and share all the background before talking about something she wants to talk about
it’s just a much more efficient use of energy
to maintain updated shared context.

Once upon
a time,
we were not merely an individual,
but a part of our mother.

The physical separation
between
our so-called “self”
and our mother
was not so clear.

Which implies
that “self”
is a learned
and developed concept.

Then the question remains.

What is the platform
that existed prior to the concept

Of self
is the concept of self
standing on