Expectation | Realizing Empathy

I once told my mother, “You’ve lived a life of sacrifice. It’s time you lived for yourself.” She tells me this was a gift: a gift of permission.

As leaders, we often feel pressured to do things for others. It’s our way of being good, caring leaders.
We may also feel that unless we fulfill others’ expectations, we’re not good or good enough.

But what if these pressures and expectations are self-imposed?

Self-imposed notions of “good” or “caring” may be unappreciated—even resented—by others. Thus, “live for yourself” is an invitation, not to be selfish, but to be relieved of the pressure to satisfy false or unrealistic expectations. It is to make room in our relationship for realizing empathy.

We experience tension when there’s a conflict between what we need or value VS what we have instead.

Design begins when we take personal responsibility for resolving our tension.
Say we expect computers to be more usable, we begin to design only once we take responsibility for resolving this tension.

We don’t always design. Sometimes we blame. Especially when tension accompanies pain.

As professionals engaged in any kind of design, we need to attend to our pain. It’s easier to neglect or to numb them, but pain may signal an untreated wound. A wound that can be irritated unexpectedly, leaving us with such a low threshold for tension that we end up spending too much of our time blaming VS designing.

On April 8, 2011 at 2:16 p.m., I posted the first draft of what will eventually become the last story in the “Making and Empathy” chapter in the “Making and Empathy” chapter in the book “Realizing Empathy: An Inquiry Into the Meaning of Making” surrounding…

Irony is when we judge others as lacking empathy

Posts tagged ‘Expectation’

Conversation: Trust & Not Expecting