Other people’s perspectives
are not ours
to take.
The perspectives
we can take from others
are none other
than our own.
May we not confuse
our own perspectives
with that
of others.
Even if the perspective
is shared.
Tag: Teamwork
Weight
When doing something
big.
To think that
we
can carry the weight
alone
is a misunderstanding.
To think that
anyone
can or will carry the weight
with us
is also a misunderstanding.
It may be that
finding people
who can and will carry the weight
with us
and learning to share that weight
with them
is a major part of the work
itself.
A Difficult Case
When someone judges us
a “difficult
case,”
it can be easy
to blame ourselves
for being
a “difficult,
case.”
While this may mean
there is something extraordinary
about us,
it also means
that someone with greater skills
will not not judge us
a “difficult
case.”
p.s: This was inspired by a meeting with a doctor who called my wife a “difficult case,” while asking her to work with another doctor with more experience and skill. An unfortunately common case of compassion without empathy, displayed by many of us, including yours truly, when we take on the role of caregiving.
Arrogance
Sometimes
arrogance can arise
in the presence
of another person
whom
we distrust.
Same Team
When someone
is striving toward a goal,
dissuading them from the goal
can be the very definition
of being
unsupportive.
We can rationalize why
we are right
to dissuade them.
We may even argue
that it’s for their own
good.
What doesn‘t change—
until their goal changes—
is that we are perceived
as unsupportive
to them,
and thus perceived
to not be
on the same
team.
Trust vs Expect
Trust
implies vulnerability.
Expectation
demands certainty.
To lose trust
because of our violated
expectations
is to forget what it means
to trust.
Or to realize
that from the start,
there was no trust,
just unmanaged
expectations.
Autonomy without Support
Giving autonomy
to someone who lacks support
can be quite similar
to abandoning them.
Challenge of Compassion
We feel compassion
when we feel concern
for another person’s suffering
and desire
to enhance their welfare.
While sounding
virtuous,
compassion becomes
dangerous
when we have difficulty
realizing empathy
with the
concerns
and desires
of our own
or others,
leaving us unable
or unwilling
to manage our impulses
to hastily act,
in the name of “help,”
often feeling surprised
even resentful
of the other person’s response,
as we judge them
ungrateful,
resistant,
or stupid.
Will you be there?
At first,
the question
may seem like
“Do you share
my interests?”
But later,
a question just as important
may be
“Will you be there
to support me
when I fall?”
The Feeling of Support
While we may think
that we’re providing autonomy
for the employees’ benefit,
our employees
can actually feel
left alone
without support.
While we may think
that we’re expressing our concern
for the company’s benefit
our employers
can actually feel
uncared for
without support.
…
Support
is an event.
Just
as the confidence of an engineer
does not guarantee
whether the structure they built
is supportive,
our intention to support
does not guarantee
that support
happens.