Process vs Outcome

When we give advice,
we often offer
an outcome.

“Have courage.”
“Be patient.”

All outcomes
that arise
from a process.

Instead of giving advice,
what if we were to ask

“What would you need
right now
to feel

“What is it
that makes it difficult
for you
to forgive?”

“What pain arises
when you seek to practice

that guide people
the process.

Same Team

When someone
is striving toward a goal,
dissuading them from the goal
can be the very definition
of being

We can rationalize why
we are right
to dissuade them.

We may even argue
that it’s for their own

What doesn‘t change—
until their goal changes—
is that we are perceived
as unsupportive
to them,
and thus perceived
to not be
on the same


Making mistakes
is often times the only way
to learn.

you are able to achieve
without learning
but when what you didnt learn
because you were busy achieving
becomes relevant
unless you know what to look for
you will make the mistake and learn from it


Think of the “self”
as possibilities.

What will arise in the moment
as “self”
may be contingent upon
numerous variables
not the least of which
is our judgment
of what is right

Achievement vs Discovery

There are things
to be achieved.

Then there are things
to be discovered.

When we confuse something
that needs to be discovered
with something that needs
to be achieved
we may achieve
only to wonder
why it feels

Because what is to be discovered
cannot be known
before the discovery
while achievement assumes
the exact


instead of telling someone
to “do this,”
asking them
if they would be willing
to “do this,”
or if they would be against
“doing this”
may be all that is required
to foster collaboration
as opposed
to compliance.


we wonder to ourselves
why we have to make mistakes
to learn what others
already seem
to know.

Without realizing
that they, too,
may have had to make
the same mistakes,
just earlier than us.

Or that they have yet to learn,
but merely come across
as if they’ve learned
given the luck
and grace
of their circumstances.