What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
To expect
is to passively await
in our assumed knowledge
of the future.
To respect
is to actively look
at the unappreciated wonders
of the present.
For each thing
we expect,
that inspires within us
anger-related emotions
like frustration
if we respect instead,
what can arise
is power
and confidence.
The kind
that comes from discovering
choices
we did not know
we had.
Responsibility
is response + ability.
It is our ability
to respond.
It points to our potential
for autonomous action.
It is distinct
from blaming ourselves
or anyone else
for being
at fault.
Unless you believe
your greatest potential for action
lies in blaming
yourself
or others.
p.s: Much gratitude to Margaret Rose for the email exchange that inspired me to write this post.
Giving autonomy
to someone who lacks support
can be quite similar
to abandoning them.
We feel compassion
when we feel concern
for another person’s suffering
and desire
to enhance their welfare.
While sounding
virtuous,
compassion becomes
dangerous
when we have difficulty
realizing empathy
with the
concerns
and desires
of our own
or others,
leaving us unable
or unwilling
to manage our impulses
to hastily act,
in the name of “help,”
often feeling surprised
even resentful
of the other person’s response,
as we judge them
ungrateful,
resistant,
or stupid.
When we live someone else’s life,
When we live someone else’s values,
When we live someone else’s beliefs,
it is only natural
that we do not feel
enough.
Realizing empathy
often helps us see
that what we judged
as selfish
can be mutually beneficial
and what we judged
as altruistic
can be hurtful.
The pursuit of fairness
can also give birth
to revenge.
We use the phrase
“emotional”
only when we display extreme degrees
of emotions.
It’s as if we don’t feel
emotions
at other times.
But
calmness
is an emotion.
Curiosity and wonder
are emotions.
The certainty
and confidence
or the uncertainty
and hesitation we feel
when making decisions
are
emotions.
Sometimes
a vicious cycle
starts,
unintended,
when we take responsibility
for others’ happiness.
Sometimes
a virtuous cycle
starts,
ironically,
when we take responsibility
for our own happiness.