Behavior vs Need

Validation
has somehow become
a dirty word.

So has attention.

It’s as if
seeking validation
or attention
is shameful.

Human beings need
validation
and attention.

Without it,
we’ll die
a slow death.

It’s one thing
to suggest behavioral changes
as to how
when
and from whom
people seek validation
or attention.

It’s quite another
to shame
the human need
for attention
or validation.

This may only increase
the tension
living inside
humanity,
and, in turn,
may either provoke
the very behaviors we dislike
or merely make it
less visible,
and perhaps,
as a result,
make it,
more
dangerous.

Fast vs Far

“Do you know
what my co-founder told me?.”
the founder asked,
rhetorically.

If you want to go fast,
go alone.
If you want to go far,
go together.”
he smirked,
before continuing.

“He doesn’t seem to realize
that there are few times
when I feel more alone
than when I’m together
with him.”

As Doth a Streetlight

photo_2020-03-20 23.56.54
“Lights On” / Seung Chan Lim (Slim) / March 20, 2020 / North Columbus Dr., Chicago, IL

 

As doth
a streetlight,
being there
for each other
with their lights on,
with nary a guarantee
of the future,
we
will get through this.

 

p.s: Economically speaking, startups are being hit more seriously than I had expected. Thus, until May 18th, I will be providing free-of-charge executive coaching sessions to all Founding CEOs with the heavy responsibility of making payroll for 5 or more employees. Click here to sign up. Feel free to share it with those in need.

Self-Image vs Identity

Our identity,
is who we are.

No matter what anyone says,
we are
who we are.

Our self-image
is created,
when we let others
or even ourselves
dictate
our identity.

“You’re the athletic one
and your sister
is the smart one.”

“I’m not good
at math.”

​Men don’t cry.”​

May we not confuse
our identity
with our
self-image.

After Love or Hate?

One
of the most common emotions
founders discover
within themselves
is vengefulness.

In the presence
of vengefulness
it’s sometimes worth asking
whether our time
is best spent
on what we hate
vs
what we love.

Because sometimes
we may only have enough time
to choose
between
supporting
who or what we love
vs
hurting
who or what we hate.

Except
the lack of time
isn’t always obvious
until we explore
the question.

In fact,
we may not even realize
that we are experiencing
vengefulness
until we realize empathy
with ourselves.

What is a Product?

Product
is another word
for “outcome.”

The product of
4 and 4
is 16.

When a designer designs something
the product
from the designer’s perspective
is the outcome
of their design.

When someone buys something
the product
from their perspective
is the outcome
of their purchase.

The product
people are buying
are not always
the product
we’ve designed.

My Fault

There are times
when it seems so clear
that the fault
is ours.

I raised my child poorly.

I lead my company to bankruptcy.

I failed to support my spouse.

This often happens
when there are two things
equally clear
if you’re willing
to see them.

First,
is that you’re someone
who is willing
to take
responsibility.

Second,
is that you have
emotional needs.

Perhaps the need
to be forgiven.

Upon seeing these two things
clearly,
may you learn the choice
to take responsibility
for fulfilling
your own emotional needs
as well as worrying
about the emotional needs
of others.

Debugging

As programmers,
it’s easy
to conflate debugging
with problem solving.

Yes,
when debugging is complete
the problem
is solved.

But while debugging,
we spend most of our time
trying to see
the code
alive.

The code
that describes a living system.
One comprised
of parts,
their relationships,
and their impact
on one another.

Seeing the code alive
is akin to comprehending
what is really going on.

Once we comprehend
what is going on
problem solving
is often
straightforward.

We often forget to do the same
when not programming.

Especially
with people.

Instead,
we jump
to problem solving.