What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Perfection
is a feeling.
What is perfect
to one
is imperfect
to another.
What is perfect
one day
is not perfect
the next.
We can misunderstand perfection
if we focus solely
on clarifying the measurement
of perfection.
We can better understand perfection
by clarifying the tension
underlying the drive
for perfection.
He thinks
he cultivated a company culture
that motivated me
and brought out
my best.
In reality,
I thought he was the father
I never had.
I was motivated
not to work hard,
but to get his _love_
instead of my father’s.
Why?
Because it was easier.
After all,
all it required
was to work
hard.
Working hard
was not enough
for my father.
I’m glad
the culture didn’t block me
from seeking his love,
but it wasn’t the culture
that motivated me
or brought out
my best.
Apr 4th 2014 12:55pm ET
Dear Dr. Csikszentmihalyi
It occurs to me
that the sense of “oneness” we feel
when we empathize
may be related
to the sense of “oneness” we feel
when we’re in flow.
Have you ever wondered
if they were related?
Would be an honor
to hear from you,
with much gratitude
slim
Apr 4th 2014 2:33pm ET
Hi Slim,
That feeling
is something you can experience
as a result of different ways
of organizing your attention:
By feeling a sense of awe
looking at the ocean or the starry sky,
by meditating,
or by engaging in an activity
that produces flow.
I don’t know
whether these are exactly the same
— we have no way to measure “oneness”
except by relying on subjective accounts —
but they sure sound very
similar . . .
Best,
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
When I rescue,
I
take responsibility
for carrying out the actions
that increase the chance
of someone’s survival.
When I support,
I help someone
learn
the choice to take responsibility
for carrying out the actions
that increase the chance
of their own survival.
The temptation
is to use empathy
as a means
to persuade.
To be right.
To win.
Far more difficult
is to realize empathy
as a means
to create.
To learn something
new.
To win
together.
