Judgment
is an answer
that stops or stalls
further
questions.
Quotes
The Feeling of Support
While we may think
that we’re providing autonomy
for the employees’ benefit,
our employees
can actually feel
left alone
without support.
While we may think
that we’re expressing our concern
for the company’s benefit
our employers
can actually feel
uncared for
without support.
…
Support
is an event.
Just
as the confidence of an engineer
does not guarantee
whether the structure they built
is supportive,
our intention to support
does not guarantee
that support
happens.
Receiving and Giving vs Being and Creating
May we ask
whether we desire
being
and creating with someone
or giving to
and receiving from them.
The more we want to give to,
or receive from someone,
the harder it can become
to be
or to create with them.
Being
or creating with someone
requires being present,
without expectation,
suspending our need
to fulfill a need,
and instead
letting emergence guide us
through uncertainty.
The 3Ss
Imagine
a tight rope
walker.
Without
a net on the ground
for the future,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
safe.
Without
a supportive rope
in the present,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
stable.
Without
sufficient preparation
prior,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
secure.
When we feel
hesitant
or vulnerable,
it may be useful
to ask ourselves
which of the 3
is missing,
Empathic Humor
“I want to kill him,”
she said,
her heads down,
referring to her co-founder.
“Tell me how you’d do it.”
I asked,
“What?”
she looked up
puzzled.
“I want to hear your plan.”
I responded.
“Ha ha ha!”
she laughed out loud.
I smiled,
noticing her shoulders relax
and tension release.
Illusion of Progress – Part 2
We tend to associate
progress
with forward movement.
But sometimes
stopping
and not moving at all
can be progress,
if that’s what’s required
for us gain the clarity required
to move
not merely forward,
but in the direction
we desire.
Need for Support
We are born
to need
the support of others.
This is more obvious,
when we’re near birth
or near death.
In between,
we may pretend
we don’t need
support
or we may think
we’re weak
if we do.
Behavior vs Experience
Sometimes
we run workshops on empathy,
focused on behaviors
without much focus
on the experience
of empathizing,
inadvertently teaching
manipulation.
As the computer software
“ELIZA,”
has shown,
you can enact
all the “right” behaviors
associated with empathy
without ever actually
empathizing.
Getting Lost by Doing Well
When we work hard
we sometimes
lose
our way.
It’s nobody’s
fault.
When we work hard,
we tend to
focus.
When we focus,
we can
obsess.
When we obsess,
we can get
impatient.
When we get impatient,
we can become
myopic.
When we become myopic,
our priorities
can be decided for us
by our myopia,
instead
of our holistic
vision.
When our decisions
are made for us
by our myopia
instead
of our holistic
vision,
we can feel
lost.
It can be exceptionally hard
to be still
when this happens.
Especially so,
when we feel pressured
by external forces
and the fear of failure
looms large.
So we keep going
despite feeling
lost.
Seeing
When we realize empathy,
we come to see
what we previously
did not.
When we see
the unseen,
we come to know
what we previously
did not.
When we know
the unknown,
we come to comprehend
what we previously
did not.
When we comprehend
the incomprehensible,
we come to appreciate
what we previously
did not.
When we appreciate
the unappreciated,
we come to experience
life
in ways we previously
did not.