What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with our thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of others,
be it animate or inanimate.
Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of our larger system,
be it our family,
society,
nation,
or ecosystem.
May we
start
with the intention
to help
others.
But before helping,
may we put down
some of the weight we’re carrying
—even if temporarily—
especially the one,
where we feel responsible
for the other’s
happiness,
to affords us the ability
to share
the other person’s weight
by supporting them
instead of taking their weight
away
from them.
After helping,
appreciate their gratitude
instead of ignoring
or trivializing them.
When people judge us
as “empathic,”
as “nice,”
as “smart,”
etc.
We tend to conform
or rebel.
Conform
as in believing that we are.
Rebel
as in “No, I’m not.”
May we learn the choice
to simply understand
and appreciate.
If we do
or say things
to fulfill a need,
then we form our objects,
organizations,
and rituals
to fulfill that need.
Yet,
the words,
the behaviors,
and the forms of our objects
and organizations
can mislead us,
if we fail to comprehend
and appreciate
the underlying needs
that shaped it.
Tis
how easily
dogma
is born.
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method
I want you
to be happy.
I want you
to be happy.
Don’t you know
that I do?
Why don’t you know
that I do?
What must I do
so you’ll know?
Why must you
continue
to hurt me?
Easy
may not be a choice
that can be learned.
But you can be
at ease.
We sometimes say
“if I were them,
I wouldn’t have done that.”
The question is not merely
whether we would have behaved
differently.
The question is
had we the same
emotions,
intentions,
needs,
and values
whether we would have behaved
differently.
When we hyper-empathize
with someone
or something,
Our self-worth
becomes contingent upon
that someone
or something,
Our self-image
depends on the perception of
that someone
or something.
It can be hard
not to hyper-empathize
with someone
or something.
That someone
or something
better be really important.
When we give advice,
we often offer
an outcome.
“Have courage.”
“Forgive.”
“Be patient.”
…
All outcomes
that arise
from a process.
…
Instead of giving advice,
what if we were to ask
questions?
“What would you need
right now
to feel
courage?”
“What is it
that makes it difficult
for you
to forgive?”
“What pain arises
when you seek to practice
patience?”
Questions
that guide people
through
the process.
