Validation

At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.

Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.

In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.

Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.

Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.

So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple
it was
to do so.

It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.

The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.

Deadline

What I learned in art
is that the work gets done
because there’s an exhibition.

Without an exhibition
the artist can work on their piece
until they’re perfect.

Except
compared to perfection
the work
is never be enough.

The role of an exhibition
is to force us to define
what is “good enough.”

Asking for Advice

Sometimes,
we need to ask for advice
on how to solve
our problems.

Before asking,
it may be worth getting clear on:

  1. What the current situation is,
  2. Where you’re trying to move to,
  3. What you believe are required
    to make such a move,
  4. What you’ve already done
    to fulfill those requirements,
    and having done them,
  5. What you see
    are the remaining problems.

Beyond Responsibility

“I want to achieve
peace in my family.”

“I want my team members
to be happy.”

“I want …”

While these can be goals,
aspirations,
or expectations,
they cannot be
our responsibility.

Not because we don’t care
or because we have no influence,
but because
responsibility
does not equal
outcome.

What is within our responsibility
is to do our best.

Sometimes our best
does not yield
an outcome
we find satisfying.

Our responsibility lies
is what response we choose
in relation to the outcome
we do not find satisfying.

3 Layers

Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with our thoughts, emotions, or behaviors.

Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of others,
be it animate or inanimate.

Our consciousness
can have trouble empathizing
with the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors
of our larger system,
be it our family,
society,
nation,
or ecosystem.

Aligning Intention with Impact

May we
start
with the intention
to help
others.

But before helping,
may we put down
some of the weight we’re carrying
—even if temporarily—
especially the one,
where we feel responsible
for the other’s
happiness,
to affords us the ability
to share
the other person’s weight
by supporting them
instead of taking their weight
away
from them.

After helping,
appreciate their gratitude
instead of ignoring
or trivializing them.

Conform or Rebel

When people judge us
as “empathic,”
as “nice,”
as “smart,”
etc.

We tend to conform
or rebel.

Conform
as in believing that we are.

Rebel
as in “No, I’m not.”

May we learn the choice
to simply understand
and appreciate.

Need vs Form

If we do
or say things
to fulfill a need,
then we form our objects,
organizations,
and rituals
to fulfill that need.

Yet,
the words,
the behaviors,
and the forms of our objects
and organizations
can mislead us,
if we fail to comprehend
and appreciate
the underlying needs
that shaped it.

Tis
how easily
dogma
is born.