What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
When people say
“I feel uncertain.”
The temptation
is to say something clever,
like
“There was never a time
that was certain.”
As true
as that may be,
that can shut down
a valuable opportunity
for innovation,
where we can support their reflection
on what negative outcome
feels certain.
Just as a maze
can be more easily navigated
when we see its whole
—from above it—
than when we see it partially
—from within it—,
when we see our problem in its whole,
the solution
can often become obvious.
Then perhaps
the first step
to seeing the whole
was to realize
that we were seeing it
from within.
That we,
our perspectives,
were a part
of the problem.
Sometimes
“weak”
is merely us judging
someone’s pain
as unworthy
of appreciation.
Much will change,
when we are willing
and able
to help others feel understood
to the same degree
with which we
want to feel understood.
Much will change
when we are willing
and able
to provide what others need,
instead of what we think
they should need.
“How many startups
have you founded?”
I asked.
“This
is my 3rd.”
she answered.
“That
could not have been
easy.” I said.
“It’s like
having kids.”
she replied
without hesitation.
“When you have them,
you tell yourself
‘never again!’”
she continued
smiling.
“But somehow
you forget that
and before you know it
you’re having
another one.”
The root
of “wisdom”
is “weid-,”
“to see.”
When we realize empathy,
we connect
our experience
with that
of another.
Experiences
we did not know
to connect.
And it is in that instant,
we come to see
something
we previously
did not.
If Steve is right
that creativity
is coming to see something
others
could not
by connecting
experiences,
then perhaps realizing empathy
is creativity
imbued with the wisdom
of love.
First time,
just do
to learn.
Second time,
do and apply
what you’ve learned.
Third time,
optimize.
Then
move on.
To become one
is not
to be
the same.
No two “things”
can ever be
the same.
Especially so
if you consider
their locations.
To become one
can be
to become one
of a new kind.
Just as two rings
can become
one chain.
May we ask ourselves
where
our responsibility
ends.
Where
the limits
of our ability to respond
lies.
Because our responsibility ends,
where our ability ends.
To assume otherwise,
can be an easy way
to set us up
for frustration
and resentment.
We don’t just
know.
We trust
that we
know.
When trust gets shaken
so
does our knowledge,
and with it
the illusion
of certainty.