What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Sometimes,
we discover in hindsight,
that we have wasted our energy
on a distraction.
When this happens,
it may be easy to blame ourselves
for not having had
foresight.
But without a clear direction,
what counts as distraction
and what does not
may only become obvious
in hindsight.
To decide with foresight
may we gain clarity of direction
first
to helps us discern
what counts as distraction
and what does not.
May we choose
to take responsibility
instead of blaming ourselves.
One
of the simplest ways to notice
that we may have met
the limit of our ability
to respect
is to hear ourselves think
“Why don’t they just…?”
The truth
is not always easy
to articulate.
When perspectives
are easier to articulate
than the truth,
we may be tempted
to articulate our perspective
as the truth.
But perspectives in isolation
while not
untrue
can never be
the truth.
When we judge ourselves
as selfish,
it is often nothing more
than a symptom
of our fear
of being judged by others
as selfish.
Every time
we fail to say “No,”
to something
or someone
that crosses our boundaries,
we may unintentionally
fuel
the perpetuation of
a vicious
cycle.
Plans
rarely go
as planned.
In fact,
they often fall
apart.
Perhaps this
is why Hannibal often said
“I love it,
when a plan
comes
together.”
As if to denote
that a plan
has to fall apart
first
before it can come together
to create
a new plan
that actually goes
as planned.
p.s: Much gratitude goes out to Pinky Parsons for inspiring this post.
We are only
“lost”
in relation to
where we want
to go.
If we don’t know
where we want
to go,
we may instead be
faced with an opportunity
for exploration
and play.
Unless,
of course,
we think we know
where we want
to go,
because we conflate
where we want
to go
with where we think
we should want
to go.
In which case,
we may still feel
“lost.”
Vengefulness
can be
a request.
One saying,
“I want you
to empathize.”
“I want you
to empathize
with what it was like
for me to go through
what I went through.”
“I want my experience
to be appreciated,
respected,
and deemed worthy
of attention.”
“I want my experience
to matter.”
To expect
is to passively await
in our assumed knowledge
of the future.
To respect
is to actively look
at the unappreciated wonders
of the present.
For each thing
we expect,
that inspires within us
anger-related emotions
like frustration
if we respect instead,
what can arise
is power
and confidence.
The kind
that comes from discovering
choices
we did not know
we had.
Responsibility
is response + ability.
It is our ability
to respond.
It points to our potential
for autonomous
action.
It is distinct
from blaming ourselves
or anyone else
for being
at fault.
Unless you believe
your greatest potential for action
lies in blaming
yourself
or others.
p.s: Much gratitude to Margaret Rose for the email exchange that inspired me to write this post.
