What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.
The quicker
we free ourselves of the judgment
that we are doing something
for
others
and admit
that we are doing something
because we feel
pleasant emotions
knowing what we did
mattered to others,
the quicker we can go beyond
the dualistic paradigm
of selfish
vs altruistic
and begin the creation
of a virtuous cycle
or the destruction
of a vicious cycle.
When sharing our stories
we sometimes also share
the weight we carry
as the sole bearer
of our stories.
When we hyper-empathize
we can conflate
what is in our own best interest
with what is in the best interest
of the other
with which
we hyper-empathize.
That other
maybe our company,
our children,
or any number
of “others.”
Doing our best
requires clarity,
acceptance,
and appreciation
of our own
limits.
Otherwise
we may confuse our best
with someone else’s:
someone
with different
limits.
Such confusion
can give rise to shame
and doubt,
preventing us
from doing our
best.
Sometimes,
we discover in hindsight,
that we have wasted our energy
on a distraction.
When this happens,
it may be easy to blame ourselves
for not having had
foresight.
But without a clear direction,
what counts as distraction
and what does not
may only become obvious
in hindsight.
To decide with foresight
may we gain clarity of direction
first
to helps us discern
what counts as distraction
and what does not.
May we choose
to take responsibility
instead of blaming ourselves.
One
of the simplest ways to notice
that we may have met
the limit of our ability
to respect
is to hear ourselves think
“Why don’t they just…?”
The truth
is not always easy
to articulate.
When perspectives
are easier to articulate
than the truth,
we may be tempted
to articulate our perspective
as the truth.
But perspectives in isolation
while not
untrue
can never be
the truth.
When we judge ourselves
as selfish,
it is often nothing more
than a symptom
of our fear of being judged
by others
as selfish.
Every time
we fail to say “No,”
to something
or someone
that crosses our boundaries,
we may unintentionally
fuel
the perpetuation of
a vicious
cycle.