Author: Seung Chan Lim

“I need to prove that they’re wrong.”
said the CEO.

“Why?”
I asked

“Because I don’t want him to think I’m making an arbitrary decision.”
she responded.

“What do you think will happen if you prove them wrong?”
I asked

“He’ll probably trying to prove he’s right.”
she responded.

And then what?

I’ll prove him wrong again.

Then what?

I guess we’ll go around in circles.

You do realize
that you cannot guarntee you’re right, right?

Yeah, I do.

But nor does he!

True

But you have the power
to make the decision

What have you got to lose
if you simply said
“I may be wrong, but I’d like to make this decision for the following reasons.”

A major challenge
of leadership,
is making the effort required
to realize empathy
first
in relation to people
who may not do the same
with us.

It is a challenge
that can easily build within us
feelings
of resentment
and vengefulness.

Making us wonder why
the world is filled
with such ungrateful people
and how unfair
the world is.

It is normal for us
to deeply

Why do we play?
Is it really because it’s fun?

We play
just because

There’s no reason

It’s unconditional.

But that doesn’t mean
we may not feel resentment
when someone doesn’t recirprocate

unconditional is not a moral good
or some self-sacrifice

Unconditional
is simply natural
and enjoyable
in the moment

“How do I retain
my best employees?”
asked the founder.

Equally important is to choose to take responsibility in seeing that your employees are not for us to “retain.” They have a life journey they’re on and it is not up to us to “retain” them. No matter how much progress, meaning, and choice they feel there will come a time when your employee will want to leave. It’s worth reflecting on the deeper fear that is giving rise to the question of and address that more fundamentally.

Compassion can indeed be taxing because it often motivates us to want to rescue others. Compassion seems to inspire the image of the Atlas that has the world on his shoulders. That’s not very sustainable. I’m sure you’ve heard how care givers often burn out.

Empathy, on the other hand, is about creating connection without judgment. No judgment of good or bad and right or wrong, for example. This means nobody is trying to rescue anyone. It is about remaining in a creative state. Sometimes this comes naturally. Others times this doesn’t come naturally. For us to realize empathy in situations where this doesn’t come naturally we often need the support of others. Otherwise we can get stuck in a rut having difficulty empathizing. (i.e kinda like waiting alone for creative inspiration to strike vs brain storming with others for the creative inspiration) So to get unstuck, a provision of an effective support system is critical. That support system can make empathy quite a bit more sustainable.