There’s a meme on how lobsters grow
by shedding their rigid shell and producing a new one.
It points out that before it can grow,
a lobster feels stress against their shell.
Thus, the moral of the story is:
1) Treating stress as a problem to be solved is to prevent growth.
2) Stress can be a sign of growth.
What it skims through, though,
is how lobsters need a rock
to protect itself from predators
before it can shed its shell.
So if our client, employee, boss, or partner
seems to be unwilling to let go of their shell,
or to grow & innovate,
the question isn’t “Why are they being so rigid?!”
It’s “Do we have a rock in place?”
Let me know if you’re willing to be a rock.
In a workshop I lead,
a woman—a wife—
that she never realized
She’s always assumed
that when a coach creates a space
in which men
can be brave enough
to expose their feelings
of fear and shame
the complexity gets articulated.
It’s difficult o articulate what we’ve yet to learn how,
especially when there is social risk.
It often feels easier
or to repress.
Many men live this way
their entire lives.
There’s significant misunderstanding
between men & women.
but overly simplistic misinformation
(i.e. Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus)
These may mask things in the short term,
but things can eventually erupt.