Tag: Life

Validation

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.

Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.

In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.

…

Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.

…

Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.

So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.

It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.

The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.

Too Late

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

I once heard someone
90 years old
tell an audience
that she regretted not studying
her favorite foreign language
sooner.

When asked how sooner,
she replied
“30 years ago.”

When asked why then,
she replied
“When I was 60,
I told myself
that I don’t have much time left
so why bother
learning another language.
…
Little did I know,
that I had 30 more years in me.”

Geometry

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

“What is the point
of life?”
we sometimes
ask.

May we not forget
that we can also ask
“What is the circle
of life?”

or

“What is the sphere
of life?”

We need not choose
to limit our lives
to a point.

Hamster Wheel

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

It’s easy to think
that the things
other people want us to do
are more important
than what we want to do.

It can seem
that doing what we want to do
is selfish and bad
while doing what others want us to do
is altruistic and good.

And yet,
we are the proverbial “other people”
to somebody else.

May we pause
to deeply wonder
what it is we’re doing
and ask ourselves
the wonderous question
of “why?”

Why have we prioritized
certain tasks
over others?

May we live life
as the wonderous
and paradoxical
mystery
that it is
instead
of merely a series of problems
to be solved,
otherwise
our lives
can easily turn into something
akin
to a hamster wheel.

Seeing

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

When we realize empathy,
we come to see
what we previously
did not.

When we see
the unseen,
we come to know
what we previously
did not.

When we know
the unknown,
we come to comprehend
what we previously
did not.

When we comprehend
the incomprehensible,
we come to appreciate
what we previously
did not.

When we appreciate
the unappreciated,
we come to experience
life
in ways we previously
did not.

Exit

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

“This
will be
your second exit.”
I remarked.

“What will you do
next?” I asked.

“Now
I want to live
my own life.” answered
the founder.

“Whose life
have you been living?”
I asked.

“The investors’.”
he answered
without hesitation.

To be a Person

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

The Chinese character
for person (人)
are two strokes
leaning against one another.

As if to signify
that to be a person
is to be there for each other
as each other’s support
at. all. times.

At first,
this seemed
impossible.

After all,
we cannot
actually be there for others
at all times.

…

That is,
until I realized
that others can sense our support
even
in our absence.

Thus,
being there for them
at all times.

…

But then it seemed
unnecessary.

We don’t
actually need
others to be there for us
at all times.

…

That is,
until I realized
that the moment we sense
we have no support whatsoever
is often
when we take
our own lives.

Thus,
needing someone
to be there
at all times.

Trade vs Business

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

One dictionary says,
business
is “the practice
of making one’s living
by engaging in commerce.”

The same dictionary says
trade
is “the action
of buying and selling
goods and services.”

When we first found our companies,
we tend to do business,
because we want
to make our living.

But after a while,
there often comes a point
where we forget to inquire
into the meaning and value
of living,
as we stop doing business
and start trading,
in pursuit of an image
of life.

Suffering

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Suffering,
signals feeling stuck
without a choice.

To be relieved of suffering,
we need to learn
a new choice.

Often times,
this requires the support
of others.

As new choices often arise
out of a surprising shift
in perspective,
it’s easier
to let others surprise us,
than to surprise us
ourselves.

May we
be such a support.

May we
reach out
for such a support.

As We Mature

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 1

We tend to think that people our parents’ age are already mature.

I once coached a CEO in her late 60s.
She’d bring up what her deceased mother did to her decades ago.
She so wanted, but struggled, to empathize with her.

During our sessions, what helped her empathize was to surface new subtleties and nuances in her mother’s situation.
Things that gave her mother’s behaviors new meaning.

As psychologist Lewis Lipsitt says “we mature when what we once assumed to know takes on more subtlety and nuance, thus changing in meaning.”

She was maturing.

Maturation is not about aging.
It’s about making new meaning from our past so as to move forward with fresh eyes.
Sometimes this softens our pain.
Sometimes it lets us weep.

As we mature.