What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
There are things
to be achieved.
Then there are things
to be discovered.
When we confuse something
that needs to be discovered
with something that needs
to be achieved
we may achieve
only to wonder
why it feels
insufficient.
Because what is to be discovered
cannot be known
before the discovery
while achievement assumes
the exact
opposite.
Sometimes
instead of telling someone
to “do this,”
asking them
if they would be willing
to “do this,”
or if they would be against
“doing this”
may be all that is required
to foster collaboration
as opposed
to compliance.
We need not always
know
before we
do.
In fact,
knowing
can sometimes prevent us
from doing the very thing
that will help us learn
what we need
to know.
When confronted
with daunting distance
our desire to complete a race
can cloud our need
to take things
one step
at a time.
Resentment may judge
“I shouldn’t
have to
do that.”
Wonder may ask
“I wonder
what I can do instead?”
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.
The quicker
we free ourselves of the judgment
that we are doing something
for
others
and admit
that we are doing something
because we feel
pleasant emotions
knowing what we did
mattered to others,
the quicker we can go beyond
the dualistic paradigm
of selfish
vs altruistic
and begin the creation
of a virtuous cycle
or the destruction
of a vicious cycle.
When sharing our stories
we sometimes also share
the weight we carry
as the sole bearer
of our stories.
When we hyper-empathize
we can conflate
what is in our own best interest
with what is in the best interest
of the other
with which
we hyper-empathize.
That other
maybe our company,
our children,
or any number
of “others.”
Doing our best
requires clarity,
acceptance,
and appreciation
of our own
limits.
Otherwise
we may confuse our best
with someone else’s:
someone
with different
limits.
Such confusion
can give rise to shame
and doubt,
preventing us
from doing our
best.
