What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Season 2
of “The Journey of Realizing Empathy”
is now live.
In our inaugural episode,
we host Priya Amin,
former Founder and CEO
of Flexable.
During COVID,
Priya had to close Flexable down
both because of financial strain
and her own personal burnout.
In this episode,
we explore her inquiry
into being more compassionate with herself
as she moves through the next phase
of her entrepreneurial
journey.
Let the conversation
begin.
When we give advice,
we often offer
an outcome.
“Have courage.”
“Forgive.”
“Be patient.”
…
All outcomes
that arise
from a process.
…
Instead of giving advice,
what if we were to ask
questions?
“What would you need
right now
to feel
courage?”
“What is it
that makes it difficult
for you
to forgive?”
“What pain arises
when you seek to practice
patience?”
Questions
that guide people
through
the process.
There are things
to be achieved.
Then there are things
to be discovered.
When we confuse something
that needs to be discovered
with something that needs
to be achieved
we may achieve
only to wonder
why it feels
insufficient.
Because what is to be discovered
cannot be known
before the discovery
while achievement assumes
the exact
opposite.
Sometimes
instead of telling someone
to “do this,”
asking them
if they would be willing
to “do this,”
or if they would be against
“doing this”
may be all that is required
to foster collaboration
as opposed
to compliance.
We need not always
know
before we
do.
In fact,
knowing
can sometimes prevent us
from doing the very thing
that will help us learn
what we need
to know.
When confronted
with daunting distance
our desire to complete a race
can cloud our need
to take things
one step
at a time.
Resentment may judge
“I shouldn’t
have to
do that.”
Wonder may ask
“I wonder
what I can do instead?”
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.
The quicker
we free ourselves of the judgment
that we are doing something
for
others
and admit
that we are doing something
because we feel
pleasant emotions
knowing what we did
mattered to others,
the quicker we can go beyond
the dualistic paradigm
of selfish
vs altruistic
and begin the creation
of a virtuous cycle
or the destruction
of a vicious cycle.
When sharing our stories
we sometimes also share
the weight we carry
as the sole bearer
of our stories.
![[S2E1] I Don’t Know How to Be More Compassionate with Myself / Priya Amin](https://blog.realizingempathy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/empathy_basics-6-825x315.png)