Tag: Leadership

Janusian, not Martial, Art

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 1

To empathize with the familiar,
all we need is to have empathy
before we can realize empathy.

But artists empathize with the unfamiliar,
the unknown,
the uncomfortable.
So do anthropologists.

For them, having empathy is insufficient.
They need to be able to realize empathy,
when it doesn’t do so automatically.

This requires the mercy
of the creative process.

But, just as martial artists cannot will her victory,
we cannot will a realization.
Just as martial artists can only practice
to increase her probability of victory,
We can only practice to increase our probability
of realization.

Except our end isn’t mere victory,
it’s innovation.

This is a Janusian Art,
as Martial is from the Roman God of war, Mars,
and Janusian is from the Roman God of transition, Janus.

Founder Energy Drain

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Before founding a company,
it rarely occurs to us
that the thing that will drain so much our energy
will not be the lack of ideas,
or the lack of funding,
but rather the lack of support we feel
from those whom we most expect or desire support.

The paradox is this.

Often times,
these people are doing their best to support.

What’s worse?

They don’t feel appreciated for their support.

In such cases,
the misunderstanding lies
in the misalignment between their intent to support
and the impact of said support.

Until we can empathize with their intention,
and they with their impact on us,
we’ll be left feeling unsupported,
and they feeling unappreciated.

Power with vs Power Against

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 1

Here’s something I learned from carpentry.

Wood is wood.

No matter my desire,
it’ll never be metal.

If I must only use wood
to make furniture,
I have no choice, but to
respect
listen to, and
consider its context.

This is not because I’m a good moral person.
It’s just physics.

This doesn’t mean we should do as the wood tells us, though.
In fact, woods don’t speak!
It just reacts to our behavior.

To realize our empathy is to
be creative in our response to the reaction of an “other,”
like wood,
so as to flow with them,
as one,
like water.

It’s when we’re in such state of togetherness
that we can use our power
with each other,
instead of
against each other.

Difficult,
but possible
through practice.

Two Kinds of Sacrifice

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 3

There are two kinds of sacrifice.

The kind that feels like one.
vs
The kind that doesn’t.

Sometimes we’re willing to lose what other people judge as “precious.”
because it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice to us,
because we feel it’s worth it.
They may not be able to understand why,
but we do it anyway.

Other times, we’re unwilling to lose what other people judge as “trivial.”
because it does feel like a sacrifice to us,
because we feel it’s not worth it.
They may negatively judge us,
but we stand firm.

To think of loss and value
as something that can be understood and appreciated
without taking into account the emotional component
is to misunderstand and to misjudge
the human condition.

When Do We Mature?

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Child psychologist Lewis Lipsitt once said
“We mature, when what we once assumed to know
takes on more subtlety and nuance,
thus changes in meaning.”

The word “making art” used to mean
Being stubborn or egocentric
enough to get away with bullshit.

So I used to despise art.

But after 4 years of realizing empathy with artists,
the word changed in meaning to
Letting go of our ego
to learn from others
on how to uncover & express our sincere honesty.

Words necessarily change in meaning as we mature.

Words like
parenting & leadership
will change in meaning
as we mature
as parents & leaders.

So will words like
children,
engineers,
millennials,
or marketing and sales.

This is no coincidence.

Moved to Chicago

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

I’ve moved.

To Chicago.

Until I was 21,
I not only moved every ~2 years locally,
but also every ~5 years internationally.

To a child,
moving can bring great grief into their lives,
leaving behind many emotional scars.

B‍‍‍‍‍‍ut I’m ultimately grateful for the pain.
They helped me mature and innovate my “self.”

I don’t know many people in Chicago.
I have nothing planned,
nor do I have business lined up locally.

All I have is an intuition,
That this is where I’m meant to be now.

Am I being impulsive?
Perhaps.

Yet intuition is what’s guided me on my journey of 41 years.
A journey of maturing and innovating with others.
Not alone.
A journey of empathy.

It’s served me well so far.
I trust it.

Efficient Use of Energy

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Any time we have the urge to say “I disagree,”
It’s worth asking ourselves “What purpose am I hoping to fulfill?”

If the purpose of expressing disagreement is…

  1. To express disagreement, then spending our energy to express disagreement would likely be energy well-spent.
  2. To prevent something “bad” from happening, the energy may be better spent expressing our fear or concern of the “bad” thing.
  3. To ask the other person to do something, the energy may be better spent making a request to the other person.

Rose vs Obstacle

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Let’s say we have goal A.

During our pursuit of goal A,
Let’s say we encounter B.

If we desire to focus solely on A, and
B demands our attention,
B will be perceived as mere obstacle.

If we focus solely on being blocked from achieving our goal,
It can naturally lead to frustration & anxiety.

Yet, if we can shift our perspective,
So as to fully attend to B,
Enough to respect and listen to it,
B just might turn out
To be the proverbial rose
Worth smelling.

Leaders are Human Beings

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

People expect leaders to be super human.
Except, we’re human beings like everyone else.
The kind that needs support.
Except, the kind of support we need is often very hard to come by.

This week is suicide prevention week.
In commemoration of the week,
I’m offering a coaching session to 4 founders,
Free-of-charge.

This is for founders of startups & small businesses
Feeling stuck leading a team of people for whom they feel responsible.
In the session, we’ll design your next steps such that you can make progress.

We’re not going to let this responsibility crush us.
We’re going to leverage it as an opportunity for innovation.

Apply here.
Deadline is 9/16 (Sun).

When Do We Change?

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

We change our mind & behavior
When we come to have the freedom of choice
We didn’t previously perceive to have had.

Jean valjean stole,
Because he felt like he didn’t have a choice.
Once he did,
He changed.

When we tell others what not to do,
It can threaten what freedom of choice they perceive to have.
This is why our well-intended admonishments are often rejected.

Even when we tell others what to do,
We often stop at presenting options, not choices.
Options that fail to elicit the feeling of freedom.
Thus, this, too, are often rejected.

What master realizers of empathy do, is
Elicit feelings of freedom
In others and ourselves.

When this happens,
With no intention to change,
Change happens
As a byproduct.