To find out
with whom
or what
you’re hyper-empathizing,
notice how you react
when things
or people
other than your “self”
are threatened.
Tag: Leadership
Achievement vs Development
If your goal
is to lift weights,
you can achieve that goal
by lifting weights.
But for your muscles to develop
you must put the weights down
and help your muscles
recover.
Without recovery
you may achieve,
achieve,
and achieve
with minimal development
while promoting fatigue
and injury.
What if
our psychology
and our relationships
were like muscles?
Happiness
Happiness
is something
we already have.
If we don’t feel it
it’s because we only feel it
when we see it
with appreciation.
We often learn this
after
we’ve lost it.
As we all of a sudden
remember
having seen it
without appreciation.
All the while,
appreciating it now
since we have lost it.
Greed
To notice our greed
…
we can make
a strict promise
on exactly when it is
we will feel like
it’s enough,
then watch ourselves
break
that promise.
In Search of Metaphors
One way
we can realize empathy
with what we previously could not
is to search
for a metaphor.
If “I would not do
what they did
if I were in their situation,”
signals
an absence
of a metaphor.
Then “In what situation
would I do
what they did?”
signals
a search
for a metaphor.
Am I Doing Enough? (Part 2)
Sometimes
we ask
“Am I doing
enough?”
Forgetting to ask
“Enough
to what?”
Without the answer
to the second question,
our sense of progress
can be
unclear.
Once
our sense of progress
becomes
clear,
the first question
may become
unnecessary.
Realizing Empathy
We realize empathy
when we empathize
with someone
or something‒
including ourselves‒
through an unexpected
realization.
One that might makes us go
“Ah ha!”
“Ah…” or
“Ha ha ha!”
concerning something
we either did not
or had incorrectly assumed
to have understood
or appreciated
enough.
Preemptive Blaming
“They’re going to be quick
to blame me.”
said the founder,
worrying
of the employees’ backlash.
“How would it be different,
if you were quicker?”
I asked.
“What do you mean?”
he asked.
“How would it be different,
if you were even quicker
than them?”
I asked again,
with emphasis.
“Quicker?”
he asked.
“…”
I sat there,
silent.
“You mean if I were to blame myself
before they did?”
“…”
I waited.
Silence ensued.
“… You’re talking about
taking responsibility.”
The reply came back,
eventually.
Life’s Work
When we lose
our startup.
Many stories
arise.
One
is that we
have failed.
At what exactly?
Just because
that company
was not the company
with which you achieved
what you wanted to achieve,
it doesn’t mean
there will be no other company
with which
to do so.
The loss of your startup
does not equal
the loss
of your life’s work.
In fact,
it may equal
the gain
of the knowledge required
to do your life’s work.
The question may be
what
your life’s work
is
and are you willing
to continue
it.
Fast vs Far
“Do you know
what my co-founder told me?.”
the founder asked,
rhetorically.
“If you want to go fast,
go alone.
If you want to go far,
go together.”
he smirked,
before continuing.
“He doesn’t seem to realize
that there are few times
when I feel more alone
than when I’m together
with him.”