“How selfish
could you be
to take
your own life?”
he asked.
“What about those
you leave behind?”
he continued
“You don’t
understand.
Im doing this
for them.”
she responded.
Tag: Leadership
Managing Up
The folks
whom we neglect the most
in our efforts to manage up
may be
our parents.
The older I get
the more I realize
that they need our support
more than we need their’s.
Validation
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
Deadline
What I learned in art
is that the work gets done
because there’s an exhibition.
Without an exhibition
the artist can work on their piece
until they’re perfect.
Except
compared to perfection
the work
is never be enough.
The role of an exhibition
is to force us to define
what is “good enough.”
Asking for Advice
Sometimes,
we need to ask for advice
on how to solve
our problems.
Before asking,
it may be worth getting clear on:
- What the current situation is,
- Where you’re trying to move to,
- What you believe are required
to make such a move, - What you’ve already done
to fulfill those requirements,
and having done them, - What you see
are the remaining problems.
Same vs Different
No two “things”
can ever be
the same.
Especially if we consider
their location
in time
and space.
So when we hear someone say
“it’s the same thing,”
and we disagree,
we have at least
two choices.
We can argue why they’re not
the same.
We can also discover their perspective,
which is focusing on a similarity
between two or more things
that they value enough
to say “it’s the same thing.”
The choice
is ours
and ours only.
May we take responsibility
for our choices.
Method vs Context
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method
Irony
I lack empathy.
Sometimes.
We all lack empathy.
Sometimes.
Let those
who’s never lacked empathy,
judge others
for lacking empathy.
Let those
who’s never seen others lack empathy,
judge themselves
for lacking empathy.
Complaining
It’s ok
to complain.
In fact,
it can be healthy.
Except,
complain to someone
with skills.
The skills to summarize your complaint
far more succinctly
than you could
alone.
The skills to organize your complaint
far more clearly
than you could
alone.
The skills to guide your complaint
toward a resolution
you couldn’t reach
alone.
May we neither waste our complaint
on people who lack
such skills.
Nor leave such people frustrated
for lacking
such skills.
Playing Your Game
Stop playing to grow.
That’s your investors’ game.
Stop playing to survive.
That’s playing not to lose.
Start playing to win.
And play your own game.