Not Caring

It is not
that I do not care
about them.

I do.

It is that
I am confident
I can recover
the relationship
or recover from
the relationship.

That even if I do something
they wont like
I trust
that they care about me
just as I care about them
for our relationship
to sustain.

Otherwise
we are merely conforming
walking on eggshells

Managing “Up”

Lack of experience
can allude us to think
that there is such a thing
as managing “up.”

Just as we eventually learn
that our parents
need our support
just as we need theirs,
what we misunderstand as “up”

What we eventually learn
is that “up” is an illusion.

Once we realize
that parents manage us
primarily because of the conern
they feel
we can proactively manage them
by alleviating their concern

Sustainable Empathy

Compassion can indeed be taxing because it often motivates us to want to rescue others. Compassion seems to inspire the image of the Atlas that has the world on his shoulders. That’s not very sustainable. I’m sure you’ve heard how care givers often burn out.

Empathy, on the other hand, is about creating connection without judgment. No judgment of good or bad and right or wrong, for example. This means nobody is trying to rescue anyone. It is about remaining in a creative state. Sometimes this comes naturally. Others times this doesn’t come naturally. For us to realize empathy in situations where this doesn’t come naturally we often need the support of others. Otherwise we can get stuck in a rut having difficulty empathizing. (i.e kinda like waiting alone for creative inspiration to strike vs brain storming with others for the creative inspiration) So to get unstuck, a provision of an effective support system is critical. That support system can make empathy quite a bit more sustainable.