Withness 2

“My wife
is driving me crazy.”
said the Founder.

“Why?”
I asked.

“She asks me questions.
I give her the answer
and she says she doesn’t want
my answer.”

“Have you ever sent an email
in the middle of the night
to one of your executive team members
not expecting an immediate reply
but because you want to stay on the same page
and if you didn’t tell him now
you may forget?”
I asked

“Sure.”
answered the founder.

Has anyone complained that you’re sending emails late at night
because they thought they had to respond to your email right away?

“Sure. So I told them I don’t want them to answer right away.”
answered the founder.

“What if your wife
is doing the same?”
I asked.

That she’s just sharing because
it matters to her that she shares this
because there may be a time later when this info
not too important now
could matter
and she doesn’t want to have to remember to go all the way back
and share all the background before talking about something she wants to talk about
it’s just a much more efficient use of energy
to maintain updated shared context.

Pre-Self

Once upon
a time,
we were not merely an individual,
but a part of our mother.

The physical separation
between
our so-called “self”
and our mother
was not so clear.

Which implies
that “self”
is a learned
and developed concept.

Then the question remains.

What is the platform
that existed prior to the concept

Of self
is the concept of self
standing on

Fear

We think fear
is spiders,
ghosts,
or heights.

Fear
is also
the tiny voice we hear
that says
“but that’s unprofessional,”
“I shouldn’t cry,”
or “that’s not right.”

Lacking Empathy

“Do you think
I lack
empathy?”
asked the founder.

“You’re not receiving
enough
support.”
I responded.

“What do you mean?”
asked the founder.

“You’re going to be stressed without support, because you feeel isolated, if you’re isolated, you ahve no room in your being to empathize.

Sacrifice vs Win-Win

As parents
can sacrifice themselves
in hopes to provide
a better home for their children,
a Founder
can sacrifice themselves
in hopes to provide
a better workplace for their employees.

While seemingly virtuous,
sacrifice
can also be a breeding ground
for resentment.

There are situations
when we have no choice
but to sacrifice,
but in many cases
there are ways
to achieve win-win
be it with children
or employees
by sharing the burden
with them.

The challenge
lies in our willingness
to be vulnerably honest
enough
to be able to ask
for their support.

Pause

Sometimes,
it’s better to pause
and look around
then to keep moving
forward.

There are things
we can only see
when we pause
to look around.

The things we see
may help us realize
that we’re headed
in the wrong
direction.

To Know

To know
right
and wrong
is to become aware
of the context
in which judge
right
or wrong.

When we work inside a company,
we think we know what is right
and what is wrong,
without awareness
that the company in which we work
makes our judgment
right or wrong.

We are then surprised
that when the context changes
what we once thorugh right
or wrong
is no longer.

Forward vs Retreat

There are days
when we move
forward.

There are also days
when we
retreat.

It can be easier to value
forward movement
than retreat.

The only thing preventing us
from valuing our retreat
is what comes of
the retreat.

New direction?

learning?