I want to learn the best practice
he said
Do you?
I asked
Category: Short Form
Care
When we striggle
it’s not necessary a sign that we lack competence
it’s sometimes because we care so much
that we expect more than what we can offer
The Chain of Change
When we realize empathy
what we see
changes.
When what we see
changes
what we focus on
can also change.
When what we focus on
changes
what we value
can also change.
When what we value
changes
what we decide
can also change.
When what we decide
changes
what we do
can also change.
Validation
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
Smile
“I overreacted today.”
said the CEO.
I waited.
“They think
I’m a bad leader.” he continued.
I waited.
“They think
I’m toxic.” he continued.
“I don’t know
why I cannot control this.”
he lamented.
“How could others support you
so that you won’t overreact?”
I asked
finally.
“I don’t know.”
he replied.
“What do you not
want?”
I asked again.
“I want them
to stop saying why my ideas
are bad.”
he said.
“Do you want them
to say your ideas
are good?”
I asked.
“No,
of course not.”
he said.
“What do you want?”
I asked again.
“I…
I just want them
to listen.”
he said,
finally.
Having vs Being
We have
a past,
but we are not
our past.
We have
a future,
but we are not
our future.
We are
who we are
This
may sound obvious.
Yet,
I invite you to monitor
what you say
and count the times
you ignore the obvious
and how that impacts the quality
of your life,
the quality
of your decision making,
and the quality
of your relationships.
Disagreements
When disagreeing
it may be important to recognize
that we need not take responsibility
for someone else’s choice.
If the disagreement is because we feel like well have to take responsibility
for someone elses choice,
then make that clear,
I choose to support you on your decision
provided you make clear that you will take responsibility
for the consequences.
It’s OK
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I raised enough
money.” he said.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I hired enough
experts.” he continued.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I achieved enough
annual revenue.” he let out a sigh.
“I have no more excuses.
All this time,
I have been lying to myself.”
he remarked.
“It’s OK.
We all lie to ourselves
from time
to time.
Easily Confused
More is not enough
Less is not lack
Age
As we age
we may realize
that what we once considered
“old“
is “young”,
while what we once considered
“young”
is younger.