What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
To change
our Circumstance
may we start
by changing
our “self.”
To change
our “self,”
may we start
by changing
our circumstance.
This may sound paradoxical,
but it merely means
that when something changes
in our environment
enough to inspres us
to take responsibility
for responding differently
to our environemtn
change starts
One
of the easiest ways
to get social media engagement
is to judge people.
Judge our boss, toxic,
the post shall go viral fulfilling t
Judge our subordinates, lazy.
Judge our country hell.
Is this the world
we want to pass down
to our children?
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
What we judge as “stubbornness”
in others
we may judge as “careful”
In ourselves.
What we judge as “resistance”
in others
we may judge as “careful”
In ourselves.
What we judg
Disagreement
separates.
Understanding
integrates.
Agreement
unites.
Going from disagreement
to agreement
without understanding
can be difficult
at times.
When we go from disagreement
to agreement
through understanding,
what we agree
Many of us
do not feel supported.
Yet
we rationalize
that we should be grateful
for whatever we have.
If such rationalization
leads to self judgment,
shame,
and isolation.
May we realize
that gratitude
is not mutually exclusive
with not feeling supported.
The Chinese character for human
are two strokes
in support of one another.
Human beings need
and deserve support,
no matter their circumstance.
What I learned in art
is that the work gets done
because there’s an exhibition.
Without an exhibition
the artist can work on their piece
until they’re perfect.
Except
compared to perfection
the work
is never be enough.
The role of an exhibition
is to force us to define
what is “good enough.”
Sometimes,
we need to ask for advice
on how to solve
our problems.
Before asking,
it may be worth getting clear on:
No two “things”
can ever be
the same.
Especially if we consider
their location
in time
and space.
So when we hear someone say
“it’s the same thing,”
and we disagree,
we have at least
two choices.
We can argue why they’re not
the same.
We can also discover their perspective,
which is focusing on a similarity
between two or more things
that they value enough
to say “it’s the same thing.”
The choice
is ours
and ours only.
May we take responsibility
for our choices.
The purpose of coaching
is to help you
win.
Its not
to heal.
Nor is It
to change.
If healing is necessary
to win
then so be it.
If change is necessary
to win
then so be it.
But those are only means
to an end.
