Giving autonomy
to someone who lacks support
can be quite similar
to abandoning them.
Category: Short Form
Challenge of Compassion
We feel compassion
when we feel concern
for another person’s suffering
and desire
to enhance their welfare.
While sounding
virtuous,
compassion becomes
dangerous
when we have difficulty
realizing empathy
with the
concerns
and desires
of our own
or others,
leaving us unable
or unwilling
to manage our impulses
to hastily act,
in the name of “help,”
often feeling surprised
even resentful
of the other person’s response,
as we judge them
ungrateful,
resistant,
or stupid.
Someone Else’s Life
When we live someone else’s life,
When we live someone else’s values,
When we live someone else’s beliefs,
it is only natural
that we do not feel
enough.
Fairness
The pursuit of fairness
can also give birth
to revenge.
Emotional
We use the phrase
“emotional”
only when we display extreme degrees
of emotions.
It’s as if we don’t feel
emotions
at other times.
But
calmness
is an emotion.
Curiosity and wonder
are emotions.
The certainty
and confidence
or the uncertainty
and hesitation we feel
when making decisions
are
emotions.
Happiness – Part 3
Sometimes
a vicious cycle
starts,
unintended,
when we take responsibility
for others’ happiness.
Sometimes
a virtuous cycle
starts,
ironically,
when we take responsibility
for our own happiness.
Will you be there?
At first,
the question
may seem like
“Do you share
my interests?”
But later,
a question just as important
may be
“Will you be there
to support me
when I fall?”
Being Right vs Making Right
When
we disagree with someone
we can intend
to be right
by telling them
they’re wrong
or
we can intend
to make them right
by connecting their words
to a context in which
they’re right.
The option to do
either
is almost always
there.
May we ask ourselves
why we choose
one
over
the other.
Decision vs Integration
Sometimes
we think we have to decide
one
over the other.
As if to approach decision-making
as a problem
to be solved.
But when we approach decision-making
as a paradox
to be dissolved,
we may realize
that we need not decide
one
over the other,
because the two
can become
one
through integration.
Replaceable
There are leaders
under whom we feel
replaceable.
Not because they want us
replaced,
but because they focus
on whether we do well
or poorly.
Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to meet their
expectation.
…
There are also leaders
under whom we feel
needed.
Not only because they need us,
but because they tell us
vulnerably so
that
they need us.
That they cannot do this
by themselves.
That they need
our help.
Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to be
our best.
Thanks to Connie Chun
who inspired this post.