What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I raised enough
money.” he said.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I hired enough
experts.” he continued.
…
“I thought
that all my problems would be solved
…
once I achieved enough
annual revenue.” he let out a sigh.
“I have no more excuses.
All this time,
I have been lying to myself.”
he remarked.
“It’s OK.
We all lie to ourselves
from time
to time.
More is not enough
Less is not lack
As we age
we may realize
that what we once considered
“old“
is “young”,
while what we once considered
“young”
is younger.
“I want to achieve
peace in my family.”
“I want my team members
to be happy.”
“I want …”
While these can be goals,
aspirations,
or expectations,
they cannot be
our responsibility.
Not because we don’t care
or because we have no influence,
but because
responsibility
does not equal
outcome.
What is within our responsibility
is to do our best.
Sometimes our best
does not yield
an outcome
we find satisfying.
Our responsibility lies
is what response we choose
in relation to the outcome
we do not find satisfying.
If to be human
is to support
and to be supported,
we
allow one’s self
to be supported by another person
being fully human
can be hard.
If we do not know what kind of support we need
If we do not think we need support
Sometimes,
we need to ask for advice
on how to solve
our problems.
Before asking,
it may be worth getting clear on:
When we use the word
lead
let us be clear
what it is
we are leading.
If we are leading
people.
Then let us be explicit
that what we mean by
lead
Is leading
people.
Not money.
Not decisions.
Not strategies.
People.
Yes,
we need
money
decisions
strategies
to lead
people.
But those are the means
not the end.
May we remebmer that.
At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.
Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.
In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.
…
Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.
…
Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.
So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.
It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.
The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.
I want you
to be happy.
I want you
to be happy.
Don’t you know
that I do?
Why don’t you know
that I do?
What must I do
so you’ll know?
Why must you
continue
to hurt me?
Sometimes
asking ourselves
am I doing enough
may mean
that we dont have enough trust
in the people around us
to do their share.
Some results need to be achived
and if we are not the one who can achieve those results
but they can only be achieved through others
or we’d rather have others achieve those results
So the question isn’t am I doing enough
the question is
who can I entrust to do something
that I am not doing
or I am not good at doing
or I do not want to do.
