What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Sometimes
we judge ourselves
a workaholic,
because after hours and hours
of work
we still feel
like we should work
more.
But upon reflection,
we may realize
that had our hours and hours
of work
fulfilled our need
to make progress
we may not feel like
we should work
more.
“How can you be working
given what you’re going through?”
he asked.
“You don’t understand.
Work
is the only thing
helping me get through.”
she answered
We sometimes say
we partnered up
because our partner’s skills
complemented
our own,
when what we really mean
is that we were afraid
that without our partner’s skills
we would
fail.
Resentment may judge
“I shouldn’t
have to
do that.”
Wonder may ask
“I wonder
what I can do instead?”
If we have an outcome
we want to see happen
by hiring,
not merely a job description
to match,
may we take responsibility
for clarifying and communicating
what that is.
If we wish to fulfill the purpose
for having been hired
instead of merely offering skills
and completing tasks,
may we take responsibility
for discovering and clarifying
what outcome
we were hired
to realize.
The quicker
we free ourselves of the judgment
that we are doing something
for
others
and admit
that we are doing something
because we feel
pleasant emotions
knowing what we did
mattered to others,
the quicker we can go beyond
the dualistic paradigm
of selfish
vs altruistic
and begin the creation
of a virtuous cycle
or the destruction
of a vicious cycle.
When someone,
who has been doing their best
to be strong,
is told
to “be strong,”
it can be interpreted to mean
“your strength
is not enough.”
When sharing our stories
we sometimes also share
the weight we carry
as the sole bearer
of our stories.
Trust
implies vulnerability.
Expectation
demands certainty.
To lose trust
because of our violated
expectations
is to forget what it means
to trust.
Or to realize
that from the start,
there was no trust,
just unmanaged
expectations.
When we hyper-empathize
we can conflate
what is in our own best interest
with what is in the best interest
of the other
with which
we hyper-empathize.
That other
maybe our company,
our children,
or any number
of “others.”