When speaking of
others
we ask
how can we motivate them?
When I ask
how do you motivate
yourself?
They say
I dont need
motivation
or I dont wait
for motivation.
What makes you think
others
are different?
Author: Seung Chan Lim
Ignorance, Disgust, Fear
We have trouble realizing empathy
because we
aren’t aware (even if we may know)
don’t want to (disgust)
or we are too afraid. (fear)
Advice Giving
There is advice
that is accepted.
Then there is advice
that is rejected.
The former
dissolves the paradox
in the other person’s mind.
The latter
merely solves the problem
as defined
by the advice giver.
Fixing vs Creating
Sometimes
we spend so much time and energy
fixing
what we deem
broken
that we miss the opportunity
to create
something wholly
different.
Like that time
when we spent
Method vs Context
Sometimes,
we think our method of communication
sucks.
Maybe.
But before the method
there is
relationship.
It is in the relationship,
where emotions
such as trust
reside.
If the relationship is sound,
the method can matter
less.
If the relationship is unsound
the method
Boundary & Distance
Empathy
is why we can connect
across boundaries
and distance.
Connect with people far away
Connect with people’s minds despite the boundary of skin
Connect with our emotions, we’ve stashed deep inside
Connect with our thoughts
Misunderstanding Employees
When employees
frustrate us,
we at least have the option
to either blame their incompetence
or support them
to fully utilize their competence.
When we think they’re disrespecting us
they may simply be stalling trying to satisfy us by doing something on their own instead of simply asking for help
Empathy, the word
The word empathy
was originally invented to explain
why we can feel connected
to something or someone
with whom we perceive to have
distance
or
boundary.
Sometimes
such boundary blurring
or distance closing
can yield positive outcomes
Other times
not so much.
Empathy
is neither good
nor bad.
It is simply
an explanation.
The responsibility lies
with each
and every one of us
Why we sound crazy
When others
cannot understand what we’re saying
or doing
we can,
to them,
sound.
‘t their fault.
I couldn’t even understand myself,
so how could I expect more from others?
But then I met people
who understood me
better than I could understand
myself.
Without them
I would not be here.
If you are feeling
depressed and anxious
I want you to know
that it’s not your fault.
Nor is it the fault of those around you.
You sought validation.
Only to realize
that others
think you’re crazy.
…
Here’s the thing.
Both you
and others
are not
wrong.
The reason why others think you’re crazy
is because they cannot
empathize with you.
They cannot empathize with you,
because they don’t know how.
You’re not helping, either,
because you’re not communicating well.
You’re not communicating well,
because you don’t know
what you’re talking about.
You don’t know what you’re talking about,
not because you’re incompetent,
or stupid,
but because you haven’t reflected enough.
That’s not your fault.
When we’re alone,
it’s very easy
to confuse rumination
with reflection.
May we remember
that reflection
requires a particular kind
of relationship.
May we not let others convince us
that we’re crazy.
May we develop a relationship
where we can reflect.
/wy p
Solidarity vs Attack & Defense
There is strength together
and strength against
when you communicate in a way
that provokes defense in the other
despite your best intentions
that will be strength against
which backfires
when you use strength together
to inspire solidarity
that does something radically different
We tend to think
we have to show our strength
to lead
Sometimes
What’s more clear
is that the more we show our strength
the less other people imagine
that we’re human.
That we can be vulnerable
And the less we seem human
less they see us as one of them.