Quotes

What vs How

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

“I don’t know how
to persuade him” said the founder.

“What
do you want to have happen?”
I asked.

“I want to persuade him.”
she responded.

“No.
What do you want to have happen
by persuading him?”
I asked again.

“…”

“I want you
to move your focus away from the how
to what it is you really want.” I remarked,
breaking the silence.

“What do you want?”
I asked again.

“I want…
…
I want to feel supported.” she answered,
after much thought.

“When’s the last time
you felt supported by him?”
I asked.

“I’ve never felt supported by him.”
she answered.

“Then what makes you so sure
that persuading him
is the way to feel supported?”
I asked.

To Stop Thinking

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

One
of the hardest things
I had to learn in art school
was how to stop
thinking.

At first,
I just told myself
to stop thinking,
which made me think
more.

I only stopped thinking
after I learned
to empathize with my materials—
be it wood,
or metal.

And I only learned
to empathize with my materials
after interacting with it
over
and over
and over again,
learning
to support
and to be supported
in that relationship.

Until there was
trust.

Trust
that came from
having co-developed
a contract
of support.

A creative process
we casually call
“making”

Tension to Pain

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Tension
beyond a certain threshold
will cause damage,
small or big.

Damage
will cause pain,
little or much.

Pain
will yield behaviors
intended to soothe
or prevent further pain.

Some of these behaviors
can damage our relationship to others,
unintentionally.

And yet,
if we
and our relationships
can recover from the damage,
both can develop,
as our muscles do
when they incur damages
from the significant tension they experience
from exercise.

Good & Bad Things

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Bad things
are not always done
by bad people.

Bad things
are often done by people
who felt
like they had no other choice.

Choice
of either impression
or expression.

Not options,
but choice.

Good things
are not always done
by good people,
either.

Good things
are often done by people
who felt
like they have no other choice.

Choice
of either impression
or expression.

Not options,
but choice.

Compassion without Acceptance

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“I regret
not having hugged you last night.”
she said.

“Regret
is too strong an emotion.
I don’t want you
to feel it.”
responded her mother.

“But it’s what I feel,
why can’t you accept it?”
she asked
mildly protesting.

“I just don’t want you to feel that.”
responded her mother.

“But I feel it.
I feel it.
I feel regret.
It’s what I feel.”
she responded.

“I just want what’s best for you.
I want you to feel better.”
responded her mother.

“I just want you
to accept me.”
she responded.

Tug of Self-Image

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There is a “self” we think
we should be.

There is a “self” others say
we should be.

There is a a “self” we think
we are.

There is a “self” others think
we are.

All of them blinds us
to the “self”
we actually are
or the “self”
we can be.

Rehearsal vs Performance

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Rehearsals
may seem a mere means
to memorize the lines
and behaviors
so as to re-enact them
during performance.

And yet,
the power of rehearsals
can be unleashed
when it prepares us
to improvise
during performance.

Contextual Difference

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

When it rains,
you can passively get wet
or actively feel
each
and every rain drop
fall
on every corner
of your body.

Same rain.

Different intention.

Different feeling.

Different meaning.

Let us reflect
on what gives rise
to the differences.