Tag: Validation

Validation

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

At first,
I thought I had to do something huge
for my life
to be worth something.

Until I realized
that doing something huge
would still not be enough
unless I could feel
that it was indeed
worth it.

In other words,
what I was after
was a feeling.

…

Once I realized
that validation
was what I was after,
I noticed I lacked clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why.

…

Once I gained clarity
on whose validation I craved
and why,
it turned out
there were only a handful of people
whose validation
I deeply craved.

So I went to them
one by one
to learn how I can provide them
value,
only to learn
how remarkably simple—
not easy, but simple—
it was
to do so.

It was then
that I realized
that at the end of the day,
the most difficult challenge
wasn’t
earning their validation.

The most difficult challenge
was accepting
that my life can have significant worth
without doing something
huge.

Validation from One’s Self

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

“I don’t need validation from others.”
He said.

“I just need validation from myself.”
He continued.

“What would have to happen
for you to validate
yourself?”
She asked.

“I would have to hit 10M
in annual revenue.”
He answered.

“Who would give you that money?”
She asked.

“Nobody would give me that money.
I would earn it!”
He answered
valiantly.

“Earn
from whom?”
She asked.

“The customers.”
He answered

“So you need validation
from your customers?”
She asked.

“Yes.”
He answered.

Validation vs Vengefulness

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Sometimes
the challenge
is less believing in ourselves
and more believing in others
who believe in us.

Sometimes
our craving for validation
is not mere craving
for validation
but craving validation
from specific someone
or group of people
because we do not deem enough
the validations we’ve already
received.

Sometimes
what we crave
is not mere validation
but revenge
born out of the desire
to prove certain people
wrong.

Proving to One’s Self

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

“I don’t want validation.
I just want to prove to myself
that I can do it.”
he said.

“How would you know
when you’ve proven it
to yourself?”
she asked.

“I’ll know it
when the customer
loves it.”
he replied.

“It sounds like
you need customer validation
to prove to yourself,
is that right?”
she asked.

Want vs Like

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

What you want
may not be
what you want,
the moment others,
whose validation you crave,
don’t want it,
too.

To better understand
what you want,
it can be useful
to find what you like
that others,
whose validation you crave,
don’t want.

Neglect

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

The person
whose love,
validation,
and respect we need
is often also the person
whose need for love,
validation,
and respect
we neglect
to appreciate
or understand fully.

Behavior vs Need

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Validation
has somehow become
a dirty word.

So has attention.

It’s as if
seeking validation
or attention
is shameful.

…

Human beings need
validation
and attention.

Without it,
we’ll die
a slow death.

It’s one thing
to suggest behavioral changes
as to how
when
and from whom
people seek validation
or attention.

It’s quite another
to shame
the human need
for attention
or validation.

This may only increase
the tension
living inside
humanity,
and, in turn,
may either provoke
the very behaviors we dislike
or merely make it
less visible,
and perhaps,
as a result,
make it,
more
dangerous.