What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Imagine
a tight rope
walker.
Without
a net on the ground
for the future,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
safe.
Without
a supportive rope
in the present,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
stable.
Without
sufficient preparation
prior,
it can be difficult for her
to feel
secure.
When we feel
hesitant
or vulnerable,
it may be useful
to ask ourselves
which of the 3
is missing,
There’s a meme on how lobsters grow
by shedding their rigid shell and producing a new one.
It points out that before it can grow,
a lobster feels stress against their shell.
Thus, the moral of the story is:
1) Treating stress as a problem to be solved is to prevent growth.
2) Stress can be a sign of growth.
What it skims through, though,
is how lobsters need a rock
to protect itself from predators
before it can shed its shell.
So if our client, employee, boss, or partner
seems to be unwilling to let go of their shell,
or to grow & innovate,
the question isn’t “Why are they being so rigid?!”
It’s “Do we have a rock in place?”
Let me know if you’re willing to be a rock.
In a workshop I lead,
a woman—a wife—
publicly shared
that she never realized
how complex
men were.
She’s always assumed
men
were simple.
She witnessed
that when a coach creates a space
in which men
can be brave enough
to expose their feelings
of fear and shame
the complexity gets articulated.
It’s difficult o articulate what we’ve yet to learn how,
especially when there is social risk.
It often feels easier
to hide
or to repress.
Many men live this way
their entire lives.
There’s significant misunderstanding
or misperception
between men & women.
Much well-intended,
but overly simplistic misinformation
as well.
(i.e. Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus)
These may mask things in the short term,
but things can eventually erupt.
