What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Sometimes
we complain that our advice falls
on deaf ears.
If so
it may be worth discerning
the kind of problem
to which we’re giving
advice.
One type of problem
is a dilemma.
A dilemma arises
when we want to catch two birds
with one stone.
If our advice to someone with a dilemma
is to kill
just one bird.
The likelihood
of that advice falling on deaf ears
is high.
It’s easy to think
that the things
other people want us to do
are more important
than what we want to do.
It can seem
that doing what we want to do
is selfish and bad
while doing what others want us to do
is altruistic and good.
And yet,
we are the proverbial “other people”
to somebody else.
May we pause
to deeply wonder
what it is we’re doing
and ask ourselves
the wonderous question
of “why?”
Why have we prioritized
certain tasks
over others?
May we live life
as the wonderous
and paradoxical
mystery
that it is
instead
of merely a series of problems
to be solved,
otherwise
our lives
can easily turn into something
akin
to a hamster wheel.
Just as a maze
can be more easily navigated
when we see its whole
—from above it—
than when we see it partially
—from within it—,
when we see our problem in its whole,
the solution
can often become obvious.
Then perhaps
the first step
to seeing the whole
was to realize
that we were seeing it
from within.
That we,
our perspectives,
were a part
of the problem.
If
1 + 1 = ?
is a problem
and
“This is a lie.”
is a paradox,
a problem often implies
the method—
in this case
addition
—with which to solve
the problem,
while a paradox
does not.
If you mistake
a paradox
for a problem,
the more time you spend
applying the method
you think
will solve the problem,
the more time
you may spend
staying stuck.
Richard Feynman—
Physicist—
once said,
“Paradox
is only a conflict between
Reality
vs
Our feeling of what reality
ought to be.”
I define tension
as a conflict between
What we have
vs
What we need or value.
When I noticed
the remarkable similarity
between these two,
I realized
that we can either
judge tension as “bad,”
so as to frame it as a “problem.”
or
We can let it evoke
our curiosity and wonder
so as to frame it
as a “paradox.”
The choice
can be ours.