What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
For our behaviors to change,
our emotions
may have to change
first.
For our emotions to change,
our thoughts
may have to change
first.
For our thoughts to change
our focus
may have to change
first.
For our focus to change
our perspective
may have to change
first.
Other people’s perspectives
are not ours
to take.
The perspectives
we can take from others
are none other
than our own.
May we not confuse
our own perspectives
with that
of others.
Even if the perspective
is shared.
The truth
is not always easy
to articulate.
When perspectives
are easier to articulate
than the truth,
we may be tempted
to articulate our perspective
as the truth.
But perspectives in isolation
while not
untrue
can never be
the truth.
Just as a maze
can be more easily navigated
when we see its whole
—from above it—
than when we see it partially
—from within it—,
when we see our problem in its whole,
the solution
can often become obvious.
Then perhaps
the first step
to seeing the whole
was to realize
that we were seeing it
from within.
That we,
our perspectives,
were a part
of the problem.
We often assume
we can take
someone’s perspective.
Until we realize
that the perspective we took
wasn’t theirs,
but our own.
To make up for this
we sometimes think we can get
their perspective
by asking.
Until we realize
that people aren’t always aware
of the whereabouts
of their own perspectives.
At which point
we realize
that the only way forward
is to discover
their perspective
together
until we realize
empathy.
What does it mean
to reflect?
Stand in front of a mirror.
The mirror
will reflect.
By mirror,
I mean a relationship
from which we can receive the choice
to see ourselves
from an interfacing
perspective.
By an interfacing perspective,
I mean a perspective
from which we can receive the choice
to see ourselves
as an “other”
with which we can empathize
without hyper-empathizing.
Go ahead.
Look into the mirror
and see yourself as an “other”
with which you can empathize
without hyper-empathizing.
Now,
by look,
I mean receive the choice
to recognize,
acknowledge,
and appreciate
parts of your “self”
by recognizing,
acknowledging,
and appreciating
parts of
the “other.”
Parts you forgot
or did not know
to recognize,
acknowledge,
and appreciate.
I mean give these parts
the choice
to feel seen.
The choice
to matter.
And by giving this choice,
may you realize
that this
is a loop,
where giving
does not constitute losing,
and receiving
is not predicated on lacking.
A loop,
where fear and shame
can make way
for flow.
…
Whether we reflect
through journaling,
through coaching,
or otherwise…
May this be a guide.
A common inner conflict revolves around these two thoughts:
It may seem like these two thoughts cannot be thought by the same person.
Yet they are often thought by the same person at the same time.
That’s why it is an inner conflict.
Our inner conflict often takes the form of a paradox.
When laid out logically, paradoxes will not make sense.
By connecting what may seem like contradictory perspectives through empathy,
we can give birth to what we call creativity.
It is through such act of creation,
that paradoxes dissolve itself,
leaving behind a sense of clarity and understanding.
The profundity of looking into the mirror
is not merely that we’re looking at our selves,
but that we’re looking at our selves from an other’s perspective.
It is by looking through the eyes of a different perspective
that we learn to become self-aware.
To lose our willingness to realize our empathy with such an other,
an other who sees things differently from us,
is to lose our ability to be self-aware.
