People say
“You always have
a choice!”
No.
You always have
options.
You don’t always have
a choice.
Choices
often have to be acquired
through learning,
discovering,
or,
creating.
What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
People say
“You always have
a choice!”
No.
You always have
options.
You don’t always have
a choice.
Choices
often have to be acquired
through learning,
discovering,
or,
creating.
Options
need not
move us
to make
a choice.
For lunch,
we may have 5 options.
Yet, none of them
may move us
to make
a choice.
We can weigh the options
all we want,
but this may merely fuel
our inner conflict,
until we feel moved enough
to make
a choice.
Choices,
unlike options,
move us
to action.
Some choices
are made
begrudgingly.
Yet,
the kind I find fascinating
is the kind that arises
when we realize
empathy.
That moment,
when we’ve finally moved
from a state of dissonance—
of not empathizing—
to a state of resonance—
of empathizing.
That moment,
when what we once could not see
becomes surprisingly self-evident,
and oh so obvious
in hindsight,
making us go
“Oh, of course…!”
exclaiming at the possibility
that has just
unfolded.
p.s: My gratitude goes out to Dr. Paul Pangaro for the wonderful conversation that inspired this post.
We change our mind & behavior
When we come to have the freedom of choice
We didn’t previously perceive to have had.
Jean valjean stole,
Because he felt like he didn’t have a choice.
Once he did,
He changed.
When we tell others what not to do,
It can threaten what freedom of choice they perceive to have.
This is why our well-intended admonishments are often rejected.
Even when we tell others what to do,
We often stop at presenting options, not choices.
Options that fail to elicit the feeling of freedom.
Thus, this, too, are often rejected.
What master realizers of empathy do, is
Elicit feelings of freedom
In others and ourselves.
When this happens,
With no intention to change,
Change happens
As a byproduct.