Tag: Need

Replaceable

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

There are leaders
under whom we feel
replaceable.

Not because they want us
replaced,
but because they focus
on whether we do well
or poorly.

Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to meet their
expectation.

…

There are also leaders
under whom we feel
needed.

Not only because they need us,
but because they tell us
vulnerably so
that
they need us.

That they cannot do this
by themselves.

That they need
our help.

Planting within us the idea
that our job
is to be
our best.

Thanks to Connie Chun
who inspired this post.

Receiving and Giving vs Being and Creating

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

May we ask
whether we desire
being
and creating with someone
or giving to
and receiving from them.

The more we want to give to,
or receive from someone,
the harder it can become
to be
or to create with them.

Being
or creating with someone
requires being present,
without expectation,
suspending our need
to fulfill a need,
and instead
letting emergence guide us
through uncertainty.

It wasn’t the Culture

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

He thinks
he cultivated a company culture
that motivated me
and brought out
my best.

In reality,
I thought he was the father
I never had.

I was motivated
not to work hard,
but to get his _love_
instead of my father’s.

Why?
Because it was easier.

After all,
all it required
was to work
hard.

Working hard
was not enough
for my father.

I’m glad
the culture didn’t block me
from seeking his love,
but it wasn’t the culture
that motivated me
or brought out
my best.

Give & Receive

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Until we learn
to receive…

No.

Until we learn
to let others
give
to us…

No.

Until we learn
to realize empathy with ourselves
in a way
that gives us the courage
to admit
that we need others
to give to us,…

Until then,
we can get stuck
lending
despite intending
to give.

Behavior vs Need

Posted on by Seung Chan Lim 0

Validation
has somehow become
a dirty word.

So has attention.

It’s as if
seeking validation
or attention
is shameful.

…

Human beings need
validation
and attention.

Without it,
we’ll die
a slow death.

It’s one thing
to suggest behavioral changes
as to how
when
and from whom
people seek validation
or attention.

It’s quite another
to shame
the human need
for attention
or validation.

This may only increase
the tension
living inside
humanity,
and, in turn,
may either provoke
the very behaviors we dislike
or merely make it
less visible,
and perhaps,
as a result,
make it,
more
dangerous.