Realizing
empathy
is neither absolutely good
nor absolutely bad.
Tag: Good
Good & Bad Things
Bad things
are not always done
by bad people.
Bad things
are often done by people
who felt
like they had no other choice.
Choice
of either impression
or expression.
Not options,
but choice.
Good things
are not always done
by good people,
either.
Good things
are often done by people
who felt
like they have no other choice.
Choice
of either impression
or expression.
Not options,
but choice.
Burden
“Why didn’t you
tell me?”
I asked.
“I didn’t want
to be a burden.”
she responded.
…
“But what if
you had died?”
was the question
I never asked.
“Have you ever thought
about the guilt
that I would have had
to live with?”
was the resentment
I never expressed.
“In your desire
to be a good mother
you could have made me
a bad son.”
was the blow
I never threw.
…
“You’re not my mother
because you’re not
a burden.”
was the acknowledgment
I never made.
“You’re my mother
because you are.”
was the tear
I never shed.
“I love you.”
was the honesty
I never expressed.
Gratitude vs Indebtedness
Gratitude
is an emotion.
Indebtedness
is a judgment one makes
on top of gratitude
to inject our being
with a noble burden.
One that whispers
“You must pay this back.
If you don’t,
you’re not good enough.”
A burden
that sometimes leads us
to hyper-empathize
with the person
to whom
we feel indebted.
Gift of Permission
I once told my mother, “You’ve lived a life of sacrifice. It’s time you lived for yourself.” She tells me this was a gift: a gift of permission.
As leaders, we often feel pressured to do things for others. It’s our way of being good, caring leaders.
We may also feel that unless we fulfill others’ expectations, we’re not good or good enough.
But what if these pressures and expectations are self-imposed?
Self-imposed notions of “good” or “caring” may be unappreciated—even resented—by others. Thus, “live for yourself” is an invitation, not to be selfish, but to be relieved of the pressure to satisfy false or unrealistic expectations. It is to make room in our relationship for realizing empathy.