What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
When we realize empathy
what we see
changes.
When what we see
changes
what we focus on
can also change.
When what we focus on
changes
what we value
can also change.
When what we value
changes
what we decide
can also change.
When what we decide
changes
what we do
can also change.
What “experts” or “professionals” may not get
about Paul Graham’s essay
is that it’s _primarily_ an act
of permission-giving.
The details of the essay
matters much less.
Many founders have felt pressured
by “experts” or “professionals” telling them
how to run their own companies.
It matters less
whether the advice came from VCs
with no experience running a company
or from Founders
with much experience running a company.
The fact of the matter is
what worked in context A
doesn’t always work
in context B.
That’s the limitation
of _advice-giving_
itself.
Paul’s essay
is making it ok for founders to say
“no thanks,”
to “expert” or “professional” advice.
To go at it
“my way,”
for better
or for worse.
That’s much needed permission
for the Founders who have felt pressured
to follow “expert” or “professional” advice.
To be clear,
this is also a reminder
that when something isn’t working
we can either take responsibility
for doing what we believe
is right
or abdicate responsibility
by doing what others believe
is right,
because we’re either
afraid of being wrong
or feel helpless
without a choice.
…
For the “experts” or “professionals,”
Paul’s essay is an invitation
to also learn how to help
without giving advice.
Without resorting to
telling people what to do,
but instead
working with them
to create something neither
could have created
alone.
Click here to listen to it on Spotify
In our fifth episode of the season, we host Kartik Kumar, Founder-CEO of SatSearch.
Since the founding of his company, Khartik aspired to promote a self-organizing team. But there came a time when such promotion led to chaos that made him to question not only this decision, but also the very process he has been using thus far _to_ make decisions. In this episode, we explore his inquiry into how a leader can make good decisions on a regular basis.
The decision
can only be made
by the decision
maker.
No matter how much we dislike
the decision made,
the responsibility of decision making
lies solely
with the decision
maker.
In much the same way,
the decision we make
in response to other’s decisions
is our responsibility.
Sometimes
we think we have to decide
one
over the other.
As if to approach decision-making
as a problem
to be solved.
But when we approach decision-making
as a paradox
to be dissolved,
we may realize
that we need not decide
one
over the other,
because the two
can become
one
through integration.
What if
the fear we feel
at the end of a cliff
is less the fear of falling
and more
that we will choose
to jump?
That the fear
comes less from the actual danger
and more
from the lack of faith in ourselves
to make the right
decision?
That we’ll be left
with nobody to blame
but ourselves?
Options
need not
move us
to make
a choice.
For lunch,
we may have 5 options.
Yet, none of them
may move us
to make
a choice.
We can weigh the options
all we want,
but this may merely fuel
our inner conflict,
until we feel moved enough
to make
a choice.
Choices,
unlike options,
move us
to action.
Some choices
are made
begrudgingly.
Yet,
the kind I find fascinating
is the kind that arises
when we realize
empathy.
That moment,
when we’ve finally moved
from a state of dissonance—
of not empathizing—
to a state of resonance—
of empathizing.
That moment,
when what we once could not see
becomes surprisingly self-evident,
and oh so obvious
in hindsight,
making us go
“Oh, of course…!”
exclaiming at the possibility
that has just
unfolded.
p.s: My gratitude goes out to Dr. Paul Pangaro for the wonderful conversation that inspired this post.
When we are involved in a process of innovation,
the kind mired in
volatility,
uncertainty,
complexity, and
ambiguity
What we often need
is someone who can
be there by our side
to help us navigate through
the difficult,
uncomfortable,
sometimes drawn out,
process
of coming to make a decision.
Not someone
who is quick to
tell us
what decision to make.
Nor someone
who leaves us
alone
to make a decision.
Yet more often than not
we are surrounded
by the latter two types of people,
While it is rare to be in the company
of the first kind of person.
To all my readers,
if you wish,
May this new year
bring more
of the first kind of person
into your lives.
To all my clients,
I’m eternally grateful
for your willingness
to let me be this kind of person.
