Beyond Compassion

Sometimes,
it’s not easy to go beyond
compassion.

To accept the challenge
of putting aside our own emotions
of concern.

To lessen our focus
on our good intentions
of wanting to alleviate someone’s suffering
or enhancing their well-being.

Maybe even to suspend
our indignance
and resentment.

So as to make room
for a sense of wonder.

To enhance our focus
on revising our expressions
for greater impact.

Connecting
and staying present with their emotions,
even if we may not like
or want to feel
those emotions.

Season 2 
of “The Journey of Realizing Empathy
is now live.

Click here to listen on Spotify

In our inaugural episode, 
we host Priya Amin
former Founder and CEO 
of Flexable.

During COVID, 
Priya had to close Flexable down 
both because of financial strain 
and her own personal burnout.

In this episode, 
we explore her inquiry 
into being more compassionate with herself 
as she moves through the next phase 
of her entrepreneurial
journey.

Let the conversation
begin.

For Your Own Good

At first,
I assumed people hurt others
with malicious intent.

Then I learned,
most people are hurt
by people
with good intentions.

People
who cared
and had compassion
for them.

People
close to them.

People
who told them
“This
is for your own
good.”

The Compassion Trap

A founder
was feeling burnt-out.

“When was your last vacation?” I asked.
He couldn’t remember.

“I can’t take one.
My employees are working.
I should be there to help them.” he added.

“What emotions do you experience
when you think of taking a vacation?” I asked.
“…Guilt.” he answered.
“Let that sink in.
That’s significant.” I remarked.

He first looked puzzled,
but soon his eyes widened
and he blurted out
“Oh!
I see!
We should all take a vacation!”

When we feel responsible for “others,”
it’s not unnatural
to feel concern
for their suffering.

With sufficient concern
it’s also not unnatural,
to want
to help.

This is known
as compassion.

Despite best intentions,
however,
the impact of compassion
can also make things worse for others,
and burn us out, as well.

Sometimes,
we need to tame our compassion
to put aside our need to help “others,”
and instead help our “self”
through a vulnerably creative process.

A process
by which we can realize empathy
unexpectedly,
and let emerge
a connected entity
“we”
between self and other.

A process
by which we can learn
a new choice of sight,
that synthesizes
an unpredicted form of help
that helps not other
not self,
but us.