What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
When we realize empathy
what we see
changes.
When what we see
changes
what we focus on
can also change.
When what we focus on
changes
what we value
can also change.
When what we value
changes
what we decide
can also change.
When what we decide
changes
what we do
can also change.
For our behaviors to change,
our emotions
may have to change
first.
For our emotions to change,
our thoughts
may have to change
first.
For our thoughts to change
our focus
may have to change
first.
For our focus to change
our perspective
may have to change
first.
Validation
has somehow become
a dirty word.
So has attention.
It’s as if
seeking validation
or attention
is shameful.
…
Human beings need
validation
and attention.
Without it,
we’ll die
a slow death.
It’s one thing
to suggest behavioral changes
as to how
when
and from whom
people seek validation
or attention.
It’s quite another
to shame
the human need
for attention
or validation.
This may only increase
the tension
living inside
humanity,
and, in turn,
may either provoke
the very behaviors we dislike
or merely make it
less visible,
and perhaps,
as a result,
make it,
more
dangerous.
One of the most profound things
I learned in art school,
is that we can learn
to physically see the world
differently.
To draw from observation,
I had to look at objects
and learn to see light
instead of objects.
To make a poster,
I had to look at a piece of paper
and learn to see a deeply 3-dimensional space
through the surface of the paper.
To sculpt figures,
I had to look at a naked person
and learn to see their muscles & skeletons
hidden underneath their skin.
To learn to act,
I had to learn to see myself in the character
in between the words written in the script.
In each of these cases,
I’d say “Oh, I see…,”
and that change of sight
would profoundly shift my mind,
which then naturally shifted my behavior.
It is no coincidence,
that the professors I admired in school
never bothered to change my behavior.
They merely helped me see differently,
after which a change in behavior
was inevitable.
One way
to sort the behaviors
that arise from too much tension
is into 5 categories.
It can be useful
to simply notice
and to acknowledge these behaviors
as natural human reactions
to our desire to relieve ourselves
of too much tension,
instead of judging them
as good/bad
or right/wrong.
This can give us
the requisite room in our mind
to not only appreciate the tension we experience,
but also the tension experienced by others
when they behave
the same way.
