What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
Sometimes
we see men
calling women
“emotional,”
when it may be more accurate
to call them
emotionally aware
or emotionally
open.
Sometimes
we see women
accuse men
of “suffering less,”
when it may be more accurate
to accuse them
of numbing themselves
or pretending
to be fine.
One
of the simplest ways to notice
that we may have met
the limit of our ability
to respect
is to hear ourselves think
“Why don’t they just…?”
To find out
with whom
or what
you’re hyper-empathizing,
notice how you react
when things
or people
other than your “self”
are threatened.
Focusing on a desire
of what we want
can create the tension
required to motivate us
to keep moving
toward the future.
And yet,
such desire alone
can often lead us
to inadvertently focus
on where we are not.
It is in being aware
of not only our desire,
but also the progress
we’ve made thus far
that we may recognize
where we are.
It is in this awareness,
where notions of
past, present, and future
can make way
for a sense
of belonging.
A sense
that we deserve
to be where we are,
thanks not only
to our own merits,
but also the merit
of our supporters,
and our circumstances.
One way
to sort the behaviors
that arise from too much tension
is into 5 categories.
It can be useful
to simply notice
and to acknowledge these behaviors
as natural human reactions
to our desire to relieve ourselves
of too much tension,
instead of judging them
as good/bad
or right/wrong.
This can give us
the requisite room in our mind
to not only appreciate the tension we experience,
but also the tension experienced by others
when they behave
the same way.
Empathy realizing by itself is easy.
Realizing empathy, on the other hand, can be difficult.
Sometimes this is difficult due to a bias or a lack awareness.
But that’s not all.
What can also make it difficult is tension.
Tension is a conflict between what our mind needs or values vs what it has instead.
When we experience too much tension, we can become mired in the discomfort or pain.
In this state, we have no room in our being to realize our empathy.
When two people are experiencing significant tension, without the help of a 3rd-party—not only free of significant tension, but also well-versed in the art of realizing empathy—, it is unlikely the two will be able to realize empathy with each other.