Category: Uncategorized

Are you
a verb?

or

Are you
a noun?

If you’re a verb
you put your self-worth
on the verb.

If you’re a noun
you put your self-worth
on the noun.

The choice
is yours
and yours
only.

Lack of experience
can allude us to think
that there is such a thing
as managing “up.”

Just as we eventually learn
that our parents
need our support
just as we need theirs,
what we misunderstand as “up”

What we eventually learn
is that “up” is an illusion.

Once we realize
that parents manage us
primarily because of the conern
they feel
we can proactively manage them
by alleviating their concern

What we once deemed
perfect
in hindsight
is often
not.

But it is
better
than the one
previous.

That
is enough.

Compassion can indeed be taxing because it often motivates us to want to rescue others. Compassion seems to inspire the image of the Atlas that has the world on his shoulders. That’s not very sustainable. I’m sure you’ve heard how care givers often burn out.

Empathy, on the other hand, is about creating connection without judgment. No judgment of good or bad and right or wrong, for example. This means nobody is trying to rescue anyone. It is about remaining in a creative state. Sometimes this comes naturally. Others times this doesn’t come naturally. For us to realize empathy in situations where this doesn’t come naturally we often need the support of others. Otherwise we can get stuck in a rut having difficulty empathizing. (i.e kinda like waiting alone for creative inspiration to strike vs brain storming with others for the creative inspiration) So to get unstuck, a provision of an effective support system is critical. That support system can make empathy quite a bit more sustainable.

Empathy
is a word
that explains why
we can feel
as if we’re connected
across boundaries
and distance.

Connecting across boundaries
is neither absolutely good
nor absolutely bad.

What it is
is a curious,
sometimes surprising,
phenomena.

What meaning
and value
is created
or discovered
and by whom
will determine
whether it is good
or bad.

“But empathy
can be draining!”
protested
the founder.

“Give me
an example
of a time
when empathy
drained you.”
I asked.

“In my last 1-on-1
I wanted to tell my employee
how horrible
they were doing.
But I kept my mouth shut
because I didn’t want
to hurt him.”
she answered.

“What emotions did you feel
when you thought of
the possibility
of hurting him?”
I asked.

“Worry.”
she answered.

“There is nothing wrong
with feeling worry.
In fact, I appreciate your willingness to notice
and to acknowledge it.
At the same time,
I want to invite you
to not blame empathy
for our worry.”

Empathy
is not something you either have lots
or lack
it is something that has to be managed
and sometimes realized
in th moement

So much arrogance these days
is folks who claim to be empathic
and are really merely compassionate

Emotions are real
as much
as colors are real.

The thoughts,
that give rise to emotions,
or have risen from the emotions
can influence
reality.