What we once deemed
perfect
in hindsight
is often
not.
But it is
better
than the one
previous.
That
is enough.
Category: Uncategorized
Sustainable Empathy
Compassion can indeed be taxing because it often motivates us to want to rescue others. Compassion seems to inspire the image of the Atlas that has the world on his shoulders. That’s not very sustainable. I’m sure you’ve heard how care givers often burn out.
Empathy, on the other hand, is about creating connection without judgment. No judgment of good or bad and right or wrong, for example. This means nobody is trying to rescue anyone. It is about remaining in a creative state. Sometimes this comes naturally. Others times this doesn’t come naturally. For us to realize empathy in situations where this doesn’t come naturally we often need the support of others. Otherwise we can get stuck in a rut having difficulty empathizing. (i.e kinda like waiting alone for creative inspiration to strike vs brain storming with others for the creative inspiration) So to get unstuck, a provision of an effective support system is critical. That support system can make empathy quite a bit more sustainable.
What is Empathy
Empathy
is a word
that explains why
we can feel
as if we’re connected
across boundaries
and distance.
Connecting across boundaries
is neither absolutely good
nor absolutely bad.
What it is
is a curious,
sometimes surprising,
phenomena.
What meaning
and value
is created
or discovered
and by whom
will determine
whether it is good
or bad.
Two Sets of Questions
- Why do I lack so much motivation and willpower?
- How can I not feel pain and discomfort?
- What more can I do?
- How can I more effectively communicate my pain to others?
Which leaves the tension unreleased, does nothing to the weight carried
Creates even more tension, adds even more weight
Which will probably create more tension.
Which creates more weight, thus more tension, maybe even trigger our injury
How can I (re)design my thinking process and interactions with people in or around my business, such that I can regularly…
- Restore my energy and vitality.
- Release my tensions.
- Share, offload, or temporarily stash some of the weight I’m carrying.
- Recover from and prevent injuries, or at least minimize the chance of triggering them.
Confusing Empathy
“But empathy
can be draining!”
protested
the founder.
“Give me
an example
of a time
when empathy
drained you.”
I asked.
“In my last 1-on-1
I wanted to tell my employee
how horrible
they were doing.
But I kept my mouth shut
because I didn’t want
to hurt him.”
she answered.
“What emotions did you feel
when you thought of
the possibility
of hurting him?”
I asked.
“Worry.”
she answered.
“There is nothing wrong
with feeling worry.
In fact, I appreciate your willingness to notice
and to acknowledge it.
At the same time,
I want to invite you
to not blame empathy
for our worry.”
Humility
Empathy
is not something you either have lots
or lack
it is something that has to be managed
and sometimes realized
in th moement
So much arrogance these days
is folks who claim to be empathic
and are really merely compassionate
Emotions are Real
Emotions are real
as much
as colors are real.
The thoughts,
that give rise to emotions,
or have risen from the emotions
can influence
reality.
Beyond Curiosity
There is curiosity.
Then there is
wonder.
What wonder has
that curiosity does not
is a sense
of surprise
or awe.
While curiosity
can diminish
when knowledge
is acquired,
wonder
remains.
When it comes
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201412/study-wonder
Taking Away
It is hard
to taking away
something
someone
values
Easy vs Hard
If what is easy
is common
and what is hard
is rare.
What is common
is folks telling other people
to work harder
because thats whay they did.
What is rare
is folks admitting the luck
that made their hard work gain traction.
What is rare
is folks admitting the depression
their gri
What is rare
is folks shining light on those who acceted them
for who they are
and inspired courage from within.