What if
happiness
is simply the momentary absence
of our tendency
to predict
the negative.
Category: Short Form
Leaning vs Falling
When someone leans on us
we sometimes mistake them
for falling,
which inspires us
to rescue them.
But all they really need
is for us
to support them
while they lean.
p.s: My gratitude goes out to Pinky Parsons for inspiring this post.
Loving Our Fear
If our tension
was created by our resistance
to fear.
By loving our fear
we can also
release it
Gratitude
Expressing gratitude
need not be
to pay someone back.
It can simply be
to practice the simple
yet often neglected act
of appreciating
instead of taking
for granted.
Uniqueness of Pain
When we feel
isolated
in our pain,
we can think that our pain
is unique.
No.
We can think that our pain
must be
unique.
…
Because we may think that
it is the only way,
we
can matter.
…
But when we feel
connected
with an other’s pain,
we may realize that our pain
is not unique.
No.
We may realize that our pain
need not be
unique.
Because we can see
that the pain of those
with whom we feel connected
matters
to us,
which means
so does our own pain,
by virtue
of the connection
in our pain.
Behavior vs Experience
Sometimes
we run workshops on empathy,
focused on behaviors
without much focus
on the experience
of empathizing,
inadvertently teaching
manipulation.
As the computer software
“ELIZA,”
has shown,
you can enact
all the “right” behaviors
associated with empathy
without ever actually
empathizing.
Proving to One’s Self
“I don’t want validation.
I just want to prove to myself
that I can do it.”
he said.
“How would you know
when you’ve proven it
to yourself?”
she asked.
“I’ll know it
when the customer
loves it.”
he replied.
“It sounds like
you need customer validation
to prove to yourself,
is that right?”
she asked.
Unshared Weight
“The weight
of responsibility
is so heavy.”
remarked the Founder.
“No.”
I responded.
“The weight
of unshared responsibility
is heavy.”
I continued.
“The weight
will be the same
no matter what.
The choice you have
is with whom
you’ll share it
and how.
The choice is yours
and yours
only.”
I remarked.
Not About Me
When someone does something
we dislike
we tend to become
self-absorbed.
They hurt
“me.”
They disrespected
“me.”
They don’t appreciate
“me.”
Me.
Me.
Me.
When we realize empathy,
we often see
that the behavior we considered
to be about
“me”
had less to do with
“me”
and more to do with
them
feeling unsupported.
The Personal Supporter Revolution
“Explain to me simply,
What it is
you want.”
he asked.
“I want people to have
not just personal computers,
but also personal supporters.”
I responded.
“I promise you,
just as we ask ourselves now
how did we live
without personal computers,
there will come a day,
when we will ask ourselves
how did we live
without personal supporters?”
I continued.