We sometimes say
“if I were them,
I wouldn’t have done that.”
The question is not merely
whether we would have behaved
differently.
The question is
had we the same
emotions,
intentions,
needs,
and values
whether we would have behaved
differently.
Author: Seung Chan Lim
Goal vs Byproduct
There
is a world of a difference
between trying to persuade
and persuasion emerging
as a byproduct.
There is a world of a difference
between trying to help
and helpfulness emerging
as a byproduct.
Complaining
The day our employees stop complaining
is not necessarily the day
they no longer have complaints.
It may be the day
they have stopped
caring.
Developmental Grain
Development
has a grain
as do
a piece
of wood.
May we take responsibility
for supporting someone
in alignment with their developmental grain
instead of staying stuck blaming them
for our own lack of insight
into their developmental grain.
Abundance vs Amplity
Having
ample time
is not the same as having
abundant time.
Having
ample resources
is not the same as having
abundant resources.
Having ample opportunities
is not the same as having
abundant opportunities.
If abundance
means way more
than enough:
a way to connote
quantity.
Amplity
means comfort
in enoughness:
a way to connote
quality.
Overthinking
There is no such thing
as “over-”
thinking.
There is merely
“thinking”
that either we
or others
judge
as “too much.”
Instead of judging ourselves or others,
may we realize empathy
with our own thought process
so we can learn
why
our mind is behaving the way it is,
then support them
to address its concerns
to relieve it
of its tension.
Love
We say
that when we love someone
we want
what’s best for them.
What we don’t say,
but mean,
is that we may even want to make sure
they get the best.
So much so
that we may personally feel responsible
for giving them
the best.
Even if it means making ourselves vulnerable
to feeling ashamed,
when we inevitably realize
that we are unable
to fulfill our responsibility.
Not because we did not
or could not give
enough,
but because our heart knows no limits
on how much
to give them.
Delegation
When we delegate
we think
we are delegating
our tasks.
But we are also delegating
our values.
What we consider important.
How we make decisions.
How we prioritize.
Delegating mere tasks
without values
may end with you blurting out
the good ol’ saying:
“If you want something done right,
do it
yourself.”
Making a Choice
Sometimes
we hear people say
“But I cannot simply choose
to be some way!”
Indeed.
Making a choice
does not mean change
is necessarily
imminent.
It merely signifies
the first step
of a journey.
But a journey
with a commitment.
A journey
with intention.
A journey
that starts by us taking
responsibility.
Whole vs Real
Our experiences
are real
and valid.
Our perspectives
are real
and valid.
Our perceptions
are real
and valid.
But none of them
are the whole.