What if Irony is Judging Others for Lacking Empathy?
We often think micro-management entails meddling with every little detail from the moment we delegate work to another person.
Actually, there is another form of micro-management.
This is where we give someone the autonomy to do whatever they want, only to meddle with every little detail once they bring back the fruit of their autonomous labor.
The only difference here is when we micro-manage, not whether we micro-manage.
With accumulated life experience arises fear.
Between fear and care arises concern and anxiety.
Our concerns are well-intended.
Yet, when we behave out of anxiety,
it can also do harm.
How many parents ever intend to hurt their child?
Very few.
Yet, we were hurt by them.
Often by behaviors that arose out of anxiety.
I have yet to coach a CEO who does not care about their co-founders or employees.
Yet, these others were hurt by the CEO.
Often by behaviors that arose out of anxiety.
Same holds for CEOs hurt by co-founders or employees.
Not caring isn’t always the issue.
The challenge is also to care without anxiety.
It is to regulate our own tension.
A difficult, but necessary skill to learn as a leader.
The less we trust another person,
the more rules we wish to impose on them.
We say we want to be strong.
And by strong, we usually mean strong alone.
We can also be strong together.
And by being strong together,
I don’t mean helping others become strong alone.
Nor do I mean getting help so we can become strong alone.
I mean being strong by virtue of being together.
To be strong together is to be dependent, even for a moment.
Dependent is a dirty word with which nobody wants to be associated .
Yet, there are things we must depend on others to achieve.
Survival is one such thing.
Few things are more rewarding than knowing that we are needed.
Few things are more deadly than thinking we are not.